C

CAG: (n.) An informal meeting to discuss work related topics.

Cake and arse party: (n.) An activity in which none of the participants recognise a purpose. Dick dance, Rolling goat cf. Practice bleed

Canapé*: (n.) Used for comedy effect in place of the word canopy. Eg: I’m ready for the ~ to come down.

Cannon fodder: (n.) A member of the non commissioned ranks of the RAF regiment or the army. A foot soldier. Grunt

Cans: (pl. n.) Carriers Bomb Light Stores (CBLSs) Cobblers

Capacity seat : (n.) The seat in which the instructor sits and can criticise all weaknesses and mistakes because they are not flying the aircraft and being assessed.

Carbon-based life form: (n.) A dehumanising method of referring to the recipients of weapons effects, used in order to shield the user’s conscience from the unpalatable truth. cf Meat bomb

Carrots: (pl. n.) Lit afterburners. Cookers, Heaters

Chaff: (excl.) Warning to others that wind has been passed. Depressurisation

Chaff-head: (n.) A person whose hair has turned almost entirely grey, and therefore resembles the metal threads deployed to fool radars.

Chaffe: (n.) Used to describe an activity that is not enjoyed usually because it is seen as irrelevant or too time consuming.Nause, Ball ache

Change cassette: (v.) Be aware that the discipline into which you are moving requires a different set of skills. Get (something) hat on

Chank: (n.) An intentionally vague combination of ‘Chill’ and ‘Wank’.

Chap: (n.) Term of address generally used by individuals unable or unwilling to remember a person’s name. Fella

Chariot: (n.) One’s bed. From: Wank ~. Pit, Scratcher

Chateau (station or squadron name): (phr.) The squirty bottle of alcoholic solvent used to wipe off writing made with permanent marker.

Chattham House rules: (adj.) Term used to indicate that whatt follows is sensitive information that shouldn’t really be discussed but somehow this phrase unofficially allows the discussion. Bead window

Check in not dig in: (phr.) Description of aircrew accommodation standard when compared to that of the army. Often used as a response to jealous rage from army personnel.

Check six: (v.) Look behind you.

Check the actual*: (v.) A term derived from meteorological terminology used to describe the action of going outside to smoke tobacco products.

Cheese-eating surrender monkey: (n.) A French person. cf Cloggie, Spam, Septic.

Chew the fat: (v.) To have an informal conversation.

Chill herbs: (v.) Decrease one’s state of readiness for the near future. and relax, Hang slack

Chill your beans : (v.) Decrease one’s state of readiness for the near future. And relax, Hang slack, Chill herbs, cf. Standby to standby

Chin it off: (v.) Dispense with something, as it is considered to not be sufficiently important. Gaff off, Kiss off

Chisel : (v.) To influence others who are in a position of relative authority in order to get what one wants. Eg: I managed to ~ my way onto the program.

Chocolate laser live : (adj.) A medical condition that involves diarrhoea .

Chocolate teapot/fireguard: (n.) Something totally useless.

Chop (across) to: (v.) To change frequency. cf. Bell up, Get on the blower to, QSY

Chop along: (v.) To hurry up.

Christmas tree: (n.) A central warning panel in an aircraft that has many lit warning cations on it.

CinC home command : (n.) One’s spouse. Dragon ops, M.R.S, Red Air, Long haired air marshall

Civvy street*: (n.) Civilian life and rules.

Clag and shit : (n.) Very bad weather. Shit and corruption, Shit and derision

Clap hands: (v.) To have an airborne collision. cf. Aluminium death cloud

Clatter of bits: (n.) A disorganised terrible mess. Eg: Its turned into a ~. Tits up, Ball of chalk, Mare, Rolling goat, Cluster fuck, Bag of bits, Tits high

Cleared Off: (v.) Authorised to depart the place of work. Stack

Climb up and level at 2ft 6*: (v.) To go to ones bed.

Cloggie: (n.) A flying Dutchman (sic). cf Spam, Septic

Close of play (COP): (n.) The end of the working day.

Cluster fuck: (sim.) A disorganised terrible mess. Tits up, Clatter of bits, Ball of chalk, Mare, Rolling goat

Cobblers: (pl. n.) Carriers Bomb Light Stores (CBLSs). Cans

Colonel: (blank) The Navy, Army & Airforce Institution(NAAFI), or local on base (SPAR) shop. From ~Gaddafi

Combat egg*: (n.) The shape described by a surface of constant energy required by an aircraft to remain at a certain level of g force. It is shaped like an egg due to the normal acceleration of the earths gravity which gives an extra 1g in the vertical. God’s G

Combat kip*: (n.) A short period of sleep taken on an opportunity basis. cf. Simulated

Combat pyjamas*: (n.) An aircrew flying overall. cf. Combat slipper

Combat slipper*: (n.) An aircrew boot. cf. Combat pyjamas

Combat z’s: (n.) A miraculously reviving quick nap.

Come on to the radar: (v.) To come to the attention of the person speaking, specifically to be of some importance as well. cf. In the frame

Coming out of our arseholes: (phr.) An excess of something. Up the ying yang

Commit aviation: (v.) To go flying.

Container*: (US. n. synon.) Used by US Air Force in place of the word box (the saying of which is a self imposed social taboo).cf. Skulling, Cranium

Contra rotating death banana: (n.) A Chinook helicopter. cf. Cab, Hydraulic palm tree

Cookers: (n.) Afterburners. Carrots, Heaters

Cool and the gang : (stat.) I am pleased with the current situation. Cool for cats, Top banana

Cool as tits : (phr.) Something that is extremely good. Cool and the gang, Cool for cats, Top Banana

Cool for cats : (stat.) I am pleased with the current situation. Cool and the gang, Top banana

Covered off: (adv.) Something adequately organized. Get shit in a pile, Get shit in a sock, Squared away

Crack of: (adj.) A small amount of something. Eg: ~power. Smidge

Crack of a sparrow’s (fart): (phr.) Extremely early in the morning. Dark o’clock, Stupid o’clock, O-dark hundred, O-four fuck’s sake, O-silly hundred, Early doors

Crack on: (v.) Start or continue a particular activity. Press on

Crackers : (n.) 1. A 1000lb bomb. 2. Igniters in a jet engine.

Cranditz: (n.) RAF College Cranwell. Crantanamo Bay

Cranium aspect*: (US. n. synon.) Used by the US Air Force in place of the word heading because heading contains the word head, the saying of which is a self imposed social taboo. Skulling cf. Cranium, Container

Cranium*: (US. synon.) Used by US Air Force in place of the word head (the saying of which is a self imposed social taboo). cf. Cranium aspect, Container, Skulling

Crank it round: (v.) To obtain maximum angular rate of change when turning. Hoik/Hoyk

Crap out: (v.) To be the loser in a specific situation or end up with the unfavorable option.

Crash Comic: (n.) A crash investigation report.

Crash div: (n.) A very ugly member of the opposite sex used as a reserve if one does not manage to successfully win the affection of a better looking one.

Crinkle : (adj.) Description of someone who has become obviously angry or upset. Usually used to provoke further anger. May be accompanied by annoying hand gesture.

Crock of hoop/shit*: (adj.) Something that massively displeases the speaker.

Crump*: (adj.) 1. A sudden spate of unserviceable aircraft. 2. A particularly heavy landing.

Crunch*: (v.) To perform a calculation.. cf. Maths in public

Cuff it: (v.) Rely on one’s instinctive knowledge to complete a task. Wing it

Cummerbunds & waistcoats: (sim.) It makes no difference which you choose because they will both yield the same result. Six of one, Swings and roundabouts, Six and two threes

Cumulo-granitus: (n.) The ground esp. when obscured by cloud. It has a PK=1

Cut to the chase: (v.) To stop verbalising, and highlight the facts immediately pertinent to the situation.