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Definitions

(Aircraft role) Puke: (n.) A fellow aircrew officer from the different aircraft role described. Eg: Fighter ~ Aircraft type mate

(Any percentage) above 100%: (n.) Phrase used to exaggerate the quantity of something. Eg: 110%

(anything) ism : (n.) Suffix applied to the end of any word when describing traits that apply only to that word. Eg: It's just a sim~.

(someone's name) In the chair: (phr.) Usually said at meteorological briefings to indicate that the named person is responsible for the forecast that is to be briefed.

(Something) fires (Something) stops*: (phr.) Phrase taken from standard British weapon training phraseology but applied to everyday objects that have ceased to work correctly. Eg: stapler ~.

(The shortening of any RAF Station name to its 1st 3 letters): (unknown) Shortening the station names in writing is acceptable, however using the shortened names in conversation is not. EG; Cot, Wit, Con.

...And relax: (inst.) No more participation is required of you at this time. Chill herbs, Hang slack, Chill your beans cf. Standby to standby

...Bag fit: (adj.) The number of external fuel tanks fitted to an aircraft. Eg: We are flying a 4 ~ today. Jugs

...for mum: (n.) An arbitrary increase of a safety margin to make one feel better.

...Wise: (adj.) In respect of.

180-by-zip: (adj.) Head-to-head. Beak to beak, Snot locker

2 v 1: (adv.) A menage a trois or threesome. From air combat terminology frequently used by fast jet aircrew.

200 Kt Pizza: (n.) The splatter of vomit in a sink

29th Flare: (n.) The navigator in a Tornado Gr4.

3 fingers of death: (n.) An SA6 surface to air missile system.

3kg terror weapon : (n.) A 3kg practice bomb. MOAB

65 Reverse Squadron : (n.) 56 (Reserve) Sqn, The Tornado F3 Operational Conversion Unit

A BITE and download: (v.) To defecate. Eg: I'm going for ~. Reduce the boarding mass, dump down to landing weight, increase the gliding range, Drop a paveway 6

A boot-full: (n.) A large amount of movement of one's foot. Eg: Give it a ~ of rudder.

A gallop through*: (n.) A brief summary of all pertinent information relating to the subject under discussion. Whistle stop tour, A quick canter through

A kill is a kill: (truism.) A successfully completed sortie is a successfully completed sortie no matter what the score. Aircrew A cf. Tick in the box

A-level: (adj.) Something that is difficult or complicated.

Above my pay grade*: (phr.) Used to suggest that nothing can be done about an unfavourable situation because the speaker does not hold enough rank or influence to affect change in the matter.

Ackle: (v.) To adjust something instinctively to make it work in reality. cf. Fettle, Fudge, Frig

Actual*: (adv.) To sleep under the covers. cf. Simulated

Adolf Hitler : (n.) A cup of tea or coffee that is white with one lump. NATO standard, Whoopie Goldberg, Linford Christie, Shirley Bassey

Adopt the position: (v.) 1. Prepare yourself for mental or physical pain/anguish. 2. Prepare to sit in the crew room for a very long time. cf. Chill herbs, For you the war is over

Advisory for aircrew: (phr.) A phrase used to excuse the breaking of rules. A classic example of colossal arrogance.

Affirm: (int.) A confirmatory response. Roger cf. Negatron, Negatroid, Negative

Aggressively below average: (adj.) Derogatory term for describing very poor performance.

Agressively average: (adj.) Often self depreciating way of saying that you could have done better.

Agricultural: (adv.) 'Heavy handed' flying.

Ahead of the aircraft: (adj.) Prepared to a greater extent than would be expected during flight. Ahead of the game cf. On top of things, All over it like a (cheap) rash

Ahead of the drag curve: (adj.) Prepared to a greater extent than would be expected. Ahead of the aircraft, Ahead of the game cf. On top of things, All over it like a (cheap) rash

Ahead of the game: (adj.) Prepared to a greater extent than would be expected. Ahead of the aircraft, Ahead of the drag curve cf. On top of things, All over it like a (cheap) rash

Air tragic: (n.) The Air Traffic Control branch.

Aircraft type mate: (n.) A fellow aircrew officer, from the fleet of that particular aircraft type. Eg: Jag Mate cf. Charioteer

Aircrew A : (n.) A below average sortie score, but a pass. A kill is a kill

Aircrew reset/recycle: (v.) To turn a piece of equipment off and then back on as many times as are required before correct function is achieved. O.N. / O.F.F. Switch cf. Engineering tap

Aircrew sunshine : (adj.) Very poor weather which restricts flying operations Clag, Shit and corruption, Shit and derision

AL number : (adj.) An addition to the plan.

Alarm bells: (n.) Fictional bells that supposedly ring in one's head to alert one that there is something fundamentally wrong with the situation.

Alf, Ralf: (unknown) Derogatory nickname for an Annoying Little F**ker. Eventually they become a Really Annoying Little F**ker.

Alibis: (pl. n.) Excuses for imminent poor performance.

All over it like a (cheap) rash : (adj.) Competent in every way at dealing with the situation. Ahead of the aircraft, Ahead of the drag curve, Ahead of the game, On top of things

All that Jazz: (n.) All other items pertaining to the subject of discussion. cf. Niff naff and trivia

Alone and unafraid: (adj.) Term used to describe the act of operating on one's own.

Aluminium death cloud: (n.) A term used to describe a very large formation, usually a 9-ship.

An Egg sucking exercise : (n.) Time spent teaching someone things that they already know how to do. Suck Eggs

Angels: (pl. n.) Height in thousands of feet eg "Everything Angels 14 and above is yours"

Any spears for me?*: (phr.. qn.) A question asking whether there is any impending criticism to come. Ususally used at the end of a debrief.

Arb: (abbr. adj.) Arbitrary. There is nothing significant about this thing. Nebby

Army shower: (v.) To use deodorant to mask the smell of body odour instead of normal hygienic methods.

Around the bazaars: (prep.) In other forums. Round the houses

Arse about face: (adj.) Back to front.

As advertised : (adj.) As planned/briefed/illustrated with no change. As fragged

As fragged: (adj.) As planned/briefed/illustrated with no change. As advertised

As is/was: (adj.) Term to describe taking something as it comes or as it came.

As you were…: (phr.) I have acknowledged your response to my arrival, and I am saying this in order to appear to have an air of authority.

Ascoteer*: (n.) A member of 2 Group.

At the end of the day: (phr.) After everything else has been taken into consideration this is the most important fact. Usually used to describe at least 5 different facts. Bottom line, When push comes to shove cf. NB

At the lastminute.com*: (phr.) At the last minute.

At the speed of a thousand gazelles : (adj.) Extremely fast indeed. Meningy knots, Shit off a shiny shovel, Warp-factor snot, Balls out or Balls to the wall

At the subsequent board of enquiry: (phr.) A phrase used to illustrate the importance of obeying and not deviating from the rules when flying so that if something should go wrong one would not be culpable at a board of enquiry.

Auntie Betty : (n.) Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

Authmanship: (blank) The measure of how tidy one’s writing is on the Sqn’s Authorisation Sheets. eg: Whose chicken scribble is this in the sheets? They need to work on their ~

Babbage : (v.) The act of having a kebab. I went for some ~ on the way back from the pub.

Babygrow: (n.) An aircrew coverall. Goonbag, Growbag

Back for tea and medals: (phr.) The end of a successful sortie.

Back in your box: (phr.) Please cease to consider your inputs to this conversation of any significance. Wind your neck in

Back of a fag packet: (n.) An quickly prepared adequate plan conceived and developed without recourse to full planning aids.

Back of the net : (n.) I am happy with the way the situation has turned out.

Bad lands: (adj.) Enemy territory Sausage side

Badger: (stat.) Said to exclaim to all that you have just passed wind. Chaff

Bag of bits: (n.) A disorganised terrible mess. Eg: He arrived in a ~. Tits up, Ball of chalk, Mare, Rolling goat, Cluster fuck, Clatter of bits

Bag of shit: (n.) 1. Something particularly displeasing. 2. A person with exceptionally poor dress standards. Bag of wank

Bag of wank: (n.) Something particularly displeasing. Bag of shit

Bagpiping: (v.) To vent anal gas into the face of a co-aviator using ones immersion suit. The torso of the suit acting as the 'bladder', the sleeve the chanter, a bagpiping motion is used to compress and duct high pressure stale air. Chaff

Ball ache: (n.) Used to describe an activity that is not enjoyed usually because it is seen as irrelevant or too time consuming. Nause, Chaffe

Ball of chalk: (sim.) A disorganised terrible mess. Eg: It's all gone to a ~. Tits up, Clatter of bits, Rolling goat, Cluster fuck

Ball park: (n.) A rough estimate. Good enough for government work, There or there abouts

Ball/Wheels in motion : (phr.) The commencement of an activity or plan.

Ballistic: (adj.) 1. To have no control over the aircraft due to it having insufficient speed. 2. To become extremely agitated about something.

Balls out, or Balls to the wall : (adj.) Extremely fast indeed. Meningy knots, Shit off a shiny shovel, Warp-factor snot

Balls to the wind : (adj.) 1. To expose oneself to danger in order to complete a task. 2. To travel very fast. Meningy knots, Shit off a shiny shovel, Warp-factor snot, Balls out, Balls to the wall

Balmy: (adj.) Comedically used to describe a cold day. Eg: its a ~ minus 2 degrees outside.

Banana: (n.) A generic unit of measurement.

Bang for your buck: (adj.) Used to describe the attributes of a relatively powerful weapon.

Bang off: (v.) To selectively jettison something from an aircraft.

Bang out: (v.) 1. To remove oneself from a locale. 2. Produce a piece of work. SID, Poke off, Do one, Foxtrot oscar, Depart the fix, Make like a…

Bang seat: (n.) Ejection Seat. Rocket-propelled deckchair, Yellow and black taxi, Martin Baker option, Exit via the sunroof

Bar/Beer O Clock*: (n.) The time at which a person thinks it is appropriate to consume alcohol.

Base command : (n.) One's wife. Dragon Ops, Long haired air marshall, Red air

Basically: (adj.) Term often used to start any explanation regardless of whether it is basic or extremely complex.

Basics: (excl.) Something elementary has been forgotten or neglected. Often used as a reprimand.

Bastardize: (v.) To adjust an existing plan or activity to suit your needs.

Batwing : (adj.) 67 wing sweep in a tornado aircraft.

Be better: (phr.) The lowest form of instructional technique offered by instructors to students when they have no idea how to improve the student's ability. cf. BTAC

Bead window : (adj.) This information is sensitive but I'm going to tell you anyway. Secret squirrel

Beak to beak: (adv.) A minimum separation pass between aircraft flying directly towards each other. 180 by zip cf. Snot locker

Beaking: (v.) Talking loudly. cf Chimping

Beano brief : (n.) A list of places or things to do that are not permitted. From the words 'be' and 'no'.

Bear shoulders*: (adj.) Used to describe the ability to be able to shoulder much blame or criticism. That's what chins are for

Beat up: (v.) To fly too close to something on the ground. Rinse out, Wax, Wire cf. Dust off

Because we can: (phr.) A reason for doing something enjoyable with an aircraft.

Beeps and squeaks: (n.) Term used by the uneducated to describe the action of electronic warfare, specifically jamming. Bells and whistles cf. Ones and noughts, White man's magic, Wiggly amps, Sky hooks, Bernouilis, Lift fairies.

Beer O Clock : (n.) The time at which alcohol is to be consumed.

Beer token/chit: (n.) Unit of local currency. Blat, Shekel, Spot, Spondoolies cf. Gibloons

Behind the drag curve: (sim.) In a position where successful completion of the task is unlikely. Behind the aircraft

Behoves: (inst.) Word used by those in seniority to compel you to do something by felling obliged to do it because of the very use of this word.

Bell up : (v.) To make initial RT contact with an agency. Eg: Lets ~ Leeming Approach. Chop (across) to, QSY

Bells and whistles: (n.) The external manifestation of advanced electronic or mechanical equipment. cf. Swept up, Gucci, Spangly

Belt and braces : (adj.) Every detail has been planned or accounted for.

Belt fed mortar: (adv.) Used to describe a woman who is particularly enthusiastic when engaging in sexual intercourse. She went like a ~.

Bernouillis: (n.) Term used by the uneducated to describe the origin of lift. Sky hooks, Lift fairies

Beyond 10 West : (adj.) Theoretical law that states: once one is beyond this line of longitude and therefore not in the vicinity of their partner or spouse they are allowed those to cheat on them. Detachment rules, Two tacan rule

BFOT*: (acron.) Big Fuck Off Tent.

BIC: (acron.) Boys In Confidence. Used to pre-empt the telling of a secret to ensure that it does not promulgate to others outside of the group being told.

Big boys' rules: (pl. n.) Conditions under which one is encouraged to take full responsibility for one's actions

Big metal tubes*: (adj.) Large aircraft. Usually high value assets. cf. Telegraph poles

Big picture: (adj.) The general situation. cf. Broad brush

Biggie: (adj.) Large problems or significant factors. Usually utilised in the negative. A shortened version of Big Deal. Eg: no ~ Great Shakes

Biggie: (adj.) A major factor that could effect things. From the phrase "No big deal". Eg: Don't worry that's not a ~.

Billy : (adj.) An amplifier of any word beginning with the letter b. Eg: ~ bonus, ~bollocks, ~big steps. Exception ~no mates.

Billy bollocks/bonus: (adj.) Very good. Excrement

Billy no mates: (n.) A person with little or no social standing in their peer group Cf. DTF

Bingo a particular item: (excl.) I have run out of item. Eg: I am ~beers.

Bitch: (n.) A designated slave performing a particular function. Eg: tea and coffee ~.

Bitching Betty: (n.) The synthetic woman's voice in terrain avoidance software that instructs a pilot to perform actions to avoid collision. Nagging Nora

Bite the bullet: (v.) To wholeheartedly accept the consequences of the current situation.

Bite you in the arse: (v.) A bad situation arising out of a factor being overlooked. cf. Basics

Black art: (adj.) A skill that is impossible to master, those that possess it seem to be born with it, it cannot be fully taught.

Black magic: (n.) Term used by the uneducated to describe the operation of avionics. White mans' magic, cf. Wiggly amps, Science occurs

Black...: (v.) To destroy or render useless for a non specific period of time. Eg: I ~ed the toilet. Cat 5

Blah: (n. v.) Term used to describe strings of words that hold no significance, or no interest, to the speaker. Eg: he was ~ing at me all night. Blurb

Blah Jet: (n.) Previous aircraft type (usually F4 Phantom). eg: He used to fly ~ out of Wildenrath.

Blasting out : (v.) Used to describe the act of taking off usually used in briefing of sorties.

Blat: (n.) A unit of the local currency Spot, Shekel, Beer token/chit, Spondoolies cf. Gibloons

Bleat: (v.) To complain about anything that the speaker thinks is not important justified. Sqinney, Blub

Blobbed up : (adj.) To be amalgamated with.

Block: (n.) Used to describe age with reference to which decade of life a person is in. From air defence terminology for blocks of 10'000s feet. Eg: He is mid ~ 3 (He is in his mid 30s).

Bloggs: (n.) A generic term used by instructors to describe a student under instruction. Stude

Bloggsing : (v.) To deliberately perform a mistake when flying to test the vigilance of your team or crew. cf. Bloggs

Blower*: (n.) Afterburner. Carrots, Heaters,

Blub: (v.) To complain about anything that the speaker thinks is not important justified. Sqinney, Bleat

Blue blue day : (n.) Describes a day clear of cloud with good visibility. Ginners, Scorchio

Blue screen of death: (n.) A blank blue coloured screen that appears on a computer monitor when something has malfunctioned or the unit has been left unattended for a long time. This screen usually appears at the worst possible moment.

Blue suiter : (n.) A non-aircrew member of the Royal Air Force, who wears number 2 uniform on a regular basis. Bluntie

Blunch: (n.) From a combination of the words blunt and lunch. Formed by those of resentful ground branch (see Blunties) who are able to take their lunch at the same time every day, whereas aircrew seldom can. cf. Bluntie, PONTI

Bluntie: (n.) Any member of the Royal Air Force who is not aircrew. cf. Scribbley, PONTI, REMF

Blurb: (n.) Term used to describe strings of words that hold no significance, or no interest, to the speaker. Eg: Here is the ~ on flight safety. Blah

Bnag: (onomat.) Alternative word for people who are afraid or unwilling to say bang.

Bob Marleys: (n.) Electronic Warfare Training aircraft.

Bold underlined*: (adj.) Very important.

Bona: (n.) A harrier aircraft. Plastic pig, Flying tea trolley, Wozzle jet

Bonedome : (n.) Aircrew protective headgear. Lid

Bong: (v.) To infringe a safety margin, restriction, or pass below a cleared level. Eg: You are in trouble because you ~ed controlled airspace.

Bootleg: (v.) To bargain over the radio for an activity for which no formal activity has been made. Eg: Lets ~ Tain range. Chimp

BOTOT: (acron.) Bombs on target on time.

Bottom line: (n.) After everything else has been taken into consideration this is the most important fact. Usually used to describe at least 5 different facts. At the end of the day cf. NB

Box Hunter: (n.) Imaginary male radar used for selecting and tracking members of the female sex. Derived from air defence radar known as 'Fox Hunter'.

Brain fart: (n.) 1. When one is incapable of giving the correct answer to a problem 2. A completely inappropriate comment, reply or action. cf. Coggie

Bread and butter: (adj.) Term used to describe actions that are used so often that they are often considered the basic principles of the subject under discussion. Meat and two veg, Pain au beurre

Broad brush: (adj.) Generally encompassing. cf. Big Picture

Broken unreadable : (adj.) I did not understand what you just said. cf. Say again

Brown: (n.) Generic term foe bitter. cf. Yellow

Brrrt: (onomat.) A verbal simulation gunfire. Dakka-dakka-dakka

BTAC: (acron.) Be There and Cope. Used as a substitute when someone is incapable of giving useful instruction. cf. Be better

Bubble: (n.) A theoretical protected area around aircrew prior to flying into which no distractions should penetrate or else the bubble will be said to have burst resulting in possible degradation of performance.

Bubblising : (v.) The act of ignoring all other activity whilst planning for a flight. eg Don’t talk to me about that right now, I’m ~

Bucket of sunshine : (n.) A nuclear weapon. cf. Making Glass

Buckie fishwife : (n.) A woman (usually Scottish) with freer than average sexual morals

Buggeration factor : (v.) A factor that acts as a hindrance to completing a task.

Bugle up: (v.) To make initial RT contact with an agency. Eg: Lets ~ Leeming Approach. Bell up

Build a shed: (v.) To become extremely inebriated. Shedded, Get a shed on

Bullshit flags*: (n.) A pretend flag that could be pretend raised to indicate that someone has delivered incorrect information.

Bum/Good steer: (adj.) Bad/good advice.

Bumboozle: (v.) To confuse the audience usually with over complicated unnecessary facts and figures.

bumf / bum fodder : (n.) any official paperwork (early RAF)

Burning holes in the sky*: (v.) Flying in the same piece of airspace for a long period of time.

Burst transmission: (excl.) Please repeat your last statement at a slower pace, as you were speaking too quickly for me to understand you. cf. Say again

Bzzz: (excl.) Used to signal disinterest or irrelevance of the current topic of discussion. May be accompanied by annoying finger gesture.

Cab: (n.) A helicopter. Hydraulic palm tree

CAG: (n.) An informal meeting to discuss work related topics.

Cake and arse party: (n.) An activity in which none of the participants recognise a purpose. Dick dance, Rolling goat cf. Practice bleed

Canapé*: (n.) Used for comedy effect in place of the word canopy. Eg: I'm ready for the ~ to come down.

Canned: (v. adj.) 1. v. To be cancelled. 2. adj. Set up for demonstration purposes. Fall off, Scrubbed

Cannon fodder: (n.) A member of the non commissioned ranks of the RAF regiment or the army. A foot soldier. Grunt

Cans: (pl. n.) Carriers Bomb Light Stores (CBLSs) Cobblers

Capacity seat : (n.) The seat in which the instructor sits and can criticise all weaknesses and mistakes because they are not flying the aircraft and being assessed.

Captured: (stat.) This is said when the speaker is visually aware of the subject of the conversation, usually a good looking female. From laser guided bomb terminology meaning that the person marking the target is sure that what he is marking is correct. Eg: Do you see that good looking woman in the black dress? Yes ~. cf. Track while scan

Carbon-based life form: (n.) A dehumanising method of referring to the recipients of weapons effects, used in order to shield the user's conscience from the unpalatable truth. cf Meat bomb

Carrots: (pl. n.) Lit afterburners. Cookers, Heaters

Carry the can: (v.) Take responsibility for. Hold the hammer cf. Honcho

CAT 18: (adj.) A very attractive woman. From the days of Reconnaissance categories of different sets of items.

Cat 5: (v.) To damage something to an irreparable extent. Often used to describe toilets after an unpleasant bowel movement.

CBAS: (abbr.) Can't be Arsed Syndrome.

Center the dot: (stat.) Follow the steering; usually blindly and often with out thinking.

cf Dunk : ()

Chaff: (excl.) Warning to others that wind has been passed. Depressurisation

chaff-head: (n.) A person whose hair has turned almost entirely grey, and therefore resembles the metal threads deployed to fool radars.

Chaffe: (n.) Used to describe an activity that is not enjoyed usually because it is seen as irrelevant or too time consuming. Nause, Ball ache

Change cassette: (v.) Be aware that the discipline into which you are moving requires a different set of skills. Get (something) hat on

Chank: (n.) An intentionally vague combination of 'Chill' and 'Wank'.

Channelisation: (n.) The set of frequencies programmed into a radio’s preset studs. eg I didn’t hear you at check in, did you check your ~? Studs

Chap: (n.) Term of address generally used by individuals unable or unwilling to remember a person's name. Fella

Chariot: (n.) One's bed. From: Wank ~. Pit, Scratcher

Charioteer: (n.) A member of the Tornado F3 Aircrew Fraternity. F3 mate cf. Fag chariot

Charlie : (n.) A bottle of Carlsberg lager, used exclusively in Cyprus Brown, Yellow

chateau (station or squadron name): (phr.) The squirty bottle of alcoholic solvent used to wipe off writing made with permanent marker.

Chattham House rules: (adj.) Term used to indicate that whatt follows is sensitive information that shouldn't really be discussed but somehow this phrase unofficially allows the discussion. Bead window

Cheat sheet : (n.) A piece of paper with all the answers to the questions on it. cf. Gizza

Check in not dig in: (phr.) Description of aircrew accommodation standard when compared to that of the army. Often used as a response to jealous rage from army personnel.

Check six: (v.) Look behind you.

Check the actual*: (v.) A term derived from meteorological terminology used to describe the action of going outside to smoke tobacco products.

Cheese-eating surrender monkey: (n.) A French person. cf Cloggie, Spam, Septic.

Chew the fat: (v.) To have an informal conversation.

Chill herbs: (v.) Decrease one's state of readiness for the near future. …and relax, Hang slack

Chill your beans : (v.) Decrease one's state of readiness for the near future. And relax, Hang slack, Chill herbs, cf. Standby to standby

Chimp: (v. n.) 1. To bargain over the radio for an activity for which no formal application has been made. 2. A person of low standing in aircrew society. Bootleg

Chin it off: (v.) Dispense with something, as it is considered to not be sufficiently important. Gaff off, Kiss off

Chisel : (v.) To influence others who are in a position of relative authority in order to get what one wants. Eg: I managed to ~ my way onto the program.

Chocolate laser live : (adj.) A medical condition that involves diarrhoea .

Chocolate teapot/fireguard: (n.) Something totally useless.

Chop (across) to: (v.) To change frequency. cf. Bell up, Get on the blower to, QSY

Chop along: (v.) To hurry up.

Christmas tree: (n.) A central warning panel in an aircraft that has many lit warning cations on it.

Chucks & Ducks*: (n.) Ex soviet air to air missile fit, specifically AA10C and AA10D variants. cf. Telegraph poles

Chuffing: (adv.) Used in place of the expletive fucking to amplify something. Kin

CinC home command : (n.) One's spouse. Dragon ops, M.R.S, Red Air, Long haired air marshall

Civvy street*: (n.) Civilian life and rules.

Civvy*: (n.) A civilian.

Clag and shit : (n.) Very bad weather. Shit and corruption, Shit and derision

Clampers: (adj.) Poor weather. Doggers cf. Blue blue day

Clap hands: (v.) To have an airborne collision. cf. Aluminium death cloud

Clatter of bits: (n.) A disorganised terrible mess. Eg: Its turned into a ~. Tits up, Ball of chalk, Mare, Rolling goat, Cluster fuck, Bag of bits, Tits high

Cleared Off: (v.) Authorised to depart the place of work. Stack

Cleared solo: (v.) To be allowed to operate a piece of equipment without supervision or instruction from others. Often used as an excuse for failure to operate computers or overhead projectors. Eg: I'm not ~ on this OHP!

Climb up and level at 2ft 6*: (v.) To go to ones bed.

Cloggie : (n.) A Dutch person cf. Noggie

Cloggie: (n.) A flying Dutchman (sic). cf Spam, Septic

Close of play (COP): (n.) The end of the working day.

Cluster fuck: (sim.) A disorganised terrible mess. Tits up, Clatter of bits, Ball of chalk, Mare, Rolling goat

Cobblers: (pl. n.) Carriers Bomb Light Stores (CBLSs). Cans

Coggie: (n.) Mistake made due to the incorrect action of pseudo-subconscious brain functions. From cognitive error. cf. Brain fart

Collect: (v.) Action of flying an aircraft into another. cf. Collect

Colonel: (n. rhym slang) The Navy, Army & Airforce Institution, or local on base (SPAR) shop. From ~Gaddafi

Combat egg*: (n.) The shape described by a surface of constant energy required by an aircraft to remain at a certain level of g force. It is shaped like an egg due to the normal acceleration of the earths gravity which gives an extra 1g in the vertical. God's G

Combat kip*: (n.) A short period of sleep taken on an opportunity basis. cf. Simulated

Combat pyjamas*: (n.) An aircrew flying overall. cf. Combat slipper

Combat slipper*: (n.) An aircrew boot. cf. Combat pyjamas

Combat z's: (n.) A miraculously reviving quick nap.

Come on to the radar: (v.) To come to the attention of the person speaking, specifically to be of some importance as well. cf. In the frame

Coming down the hill*: (v.) In a descent. cf. Tent peg

Coming out of our arseholes: (phr.) An excess of something. Up the ying yang

Commit aviation: (v.) To go flying.

Cone Head: (n.) Derogatory term used to describe someone that doesn't know very much. Usually a student. eg "i'll get a ~ to do your trivial jobs for you"

Container*: (US. n. synon.) Used by US Air Force in place of the word box (the saying of which is a self imposed social taboo). cf. Skulling, Cranium

Contra rotating death banana: (n.) A Chinook helicopter. cf. Cab, Hydraulic palm tree

Cookers: (n.) Afterburners. Carrots, Heaters

Cool and the gang : (stat.) I am pleased with the current situation. Cool for cats, Top banana

Cool as tits : (phr.) Something that is extremely good. Cool and the gang, Cool for cats, Top Banana

Cool for cats : (stat.) I am pleased with the current situation. Cool and the gang, Top banana

Copied: (R.T.) I have understood what you have said. Roger

Covered off: (adv.) Something adequately organized. Get shit in a pile, Get shit in a sock, Squared away

Crack: (v.) To achieve. Eg: I don't think you will ~ that turn.

Crack: (v.) To open anything. Eg: ~ the canopy.

Crack of: (adj.) A small amount of something. Eg: ~power. Smidge

Crack of a sparrow's (fart): (phr.) Extremely early in the morning. Dark o'clock, Stupid o'clock, O-dark hundred, O-four fuck's sake, O-silly hundred, Early doors

Crack on: (v.) Start or continue a particular activity. Press on

Crackers : (n.) 1. A 1000lb bomb. 2. Igniters in a jet engine.

Cranium aspect*: (US. n. synon.) Used by the US Air Force in place of the word heading because heading contains the word head, the saying of which is a self imposed social taboo. Skulling cf. Cranium, Container

Cranium*: (US. synon.) Used by US Air Force in place of the word head (the saying of which is a self imposed social taboo). cf. Cranium aspect, Container, Skulling

Crank it round: (v.) To obtain maximum angular rate of change when turning. Hoik/Hoyk

Crantanamo Bay: (stat.) Alternative name to RAF Cranwell. Cranditz

Crap out: (v.) To be the loser in a specific situation or end up with the unfavorable option.

Crash Comic: (n.) A crash investigation report.

Crash div: (n.) A very ugly member of the opposite sex used as a reserve if one does not manage to successfully win the affection of a better looking one.

Crinkle : (adj.) Description of someone who has become obviously angry or upset. Usually used to provoke further anger. May be accompanied by annoying hand gesture.

Crock of hoop/shit*: (adj.) Something that massively displeases the speaker.

Crump*: (adj.) 1. A sudden spate of unserviceable aircraft. 2. A particularly heavy landing.

Crunch*: (v.) To perform a calculation.. cf. Maths in public

Cuff it: (v.) Rely on one's instinctive knowledge to complete a task. Wing it

Cummerbunds & waistcoats: (sim.) It makes no difference which you choose because they will both yield the same result. Six of one, Swings and roundabouts, Six and two threes

Cumulo-granitus: (n.) The ground esp. when obscured by cloud. It has a PK=1

Cut to the chase: (v.) To stop verbalising, and highlight the facts immediately pertinent to the situation.

Daily drama: (n.) The emergency discussed each morning at the squadron meteorological briefing. Snag of the day

Dakka-dakka-dakka: (onomat.) A verbal simulation of the sound of gunfire. Brrrt

Dangle the dunlops : (v.) Lower the Undercarriage Dirty up

Dark blue looker : (n.) A Royal Navy Aircrew Observer. Talking ballast

Dark o'clock: (n.) Very early in the morning. Crack of a sparrow's, Stupid o'clock, O-dark hundred, O-four fuck's sake, O-silly hundred, Early doors

DCO/DNCO: (abbr. n.) Used to describe the outcome of a liaison with a member of the opposite sex - Duty (Not) Carried Out. In hot/Off Dry

Dead sparrows : (n.) The Royal Air Force Aerobatic Team

Deal yourself/myself in: (stat.) Feel free to expend as much effort as you like partaking in the activity we have been discussing. Fill yer boots

Dealing out the cards*: (US. v.) Allocation of resources.

Decrement: (v.) Reduce quantity. From stores management terminology.

Deep joy: (stat.) Used ironically to show ones distaste at the current situation.

Deep-throat the cock of death: (v.) Do something that one is extremely unwilling to do. Suck the hind tit

Deferred success*: (adj.) A failure. cf. Off spec

Departing the fix: (v.) Leaving somewhere. Make like a…, Foxtrot oscar, SID, Bang out, Poke off, Do one

Depressurisation*: (v.) Warning to others that passing of wind has occurred. Chaff

Detachment rules: (n.) A theoretical set of rules that allow those not in the vicinity of their partner or spouse to cheat on them. What goes on tour stays on tour, Beyond 10 west, The two tacan rule

Detailed: (v.) To assign someone a task. Eg: I ~ Tom to fix that.

Dick dance: (n. v.) 1. n. An activity in which none of the participants recognise a purpose. 2. v. To precariously weave through an area of restricted airspace or weather. Cake and arse party, Nikky nakky noo

Die in a ditch: (v.) The course of action under discussion does not cause me to become very upset or agitated. Eg: I'm not going to ~ about it. cf. Get a hardon.

Dim: (Welsh) No or none. Often used in conjunction with Welshish. Eg: ~snaggio.

Dink : (onomat.) Verbal simulation of selection of something (normally a nav mode or height sensor). cf. Dnnk, Thunk

Dink: (v.) To lightly tap. Dunk, Thunk

Directional consultant : (n.) Navigator

Dirty up: (v.) To configure an aircraft for landing.

Disregard: (RT.) A blunt way of saying: please ignore my last statement. cf. Send, Say again

Dnnk: (onomat.) A verbal simulation of weapons release. Thunk, Brrrt, Dakka-dakka-dakka

Do one: (v.) To leave a locale. Bang out, Foxtrot oscar, SID … out of here, Make like a, depart the fix, Poke off

Dobi: (pl. n.) One's dirty laundry cf. Dobi dust

Dobi dust: (n.) Washing powder. cf. Dobi

Dog's knob/bollocks: (adj.) Something very obvious which inexorably attracts the attention. Stone bonker cf. Nebby

Doing a Mexican hat*: (v.) Flying in circles around the same point.

Dommers: (n.) A domestics card for a formation of aircraft.

Dommers / Doms chit*: (n.) A piece of paper containing all the domestic aspect of a sortie.

Done & dusted: (adj.) Finished. cf. Put this one to bed

Done to death: (v.) The subject being discussed has now been discussed in every way imaginable and there is nothing further to add. To the nth degree

Donk: (n.) Propulsion system.

Donkey's dick: (n.) 1. Any coastal prominence. 2. A boom-drogue adapter assembly.

Doors check: (n.) Extremely low flypast the tower at the end of a range detail (still used even though none of our bombers have bomb bay doors any more)

Dope on a Rope: (n.) Term for the RAF SAR winchman Wire Straightener

Down in the weeds: (adj.) At low level. Weedysphere

down the hill: (adv.) In a dive.

Download met: (v.) Attend a meteorological briefing.

Downwind of: (v.) To have progressed past or completed something. Eg: I'm downwind of the range phase.

Dragon ops: (n.) One's wife. CinC home command, M.R.S.

Draw a line under: (v.) To emphasise that something has been brought to a satisfactory conclusion and need no longer be discussed. cf. Put this one to bed

Drink on the met: (v.) To be sure that the meteorological forecast for the next day is so bad that one will not be flying and therefore not obey the drinking consumption and time limit rules pertaining to safe aviation. Met roulette

Drinking straw : (n.) Term describing a very narrow field of view of a sensor on an aircraft, often applied to the Thermal Imaging and Laser Designation Pod. Eg: It's difficult to acquire a target when you are looking down the ~.

Dripathon: (adj.) A very long slow empartment of information with nearly no respite.

Drop a (...) off at the pool: (v.) A way of saying that one is about to defecate. One inserts the trade the they most despise at the end of the phrase. Eg: I'm off to ~ admin'er ~. Give birth to a (...)

Drop agent orange: (v.) To pass wind in a crowded public place. cf. Chaff

Dropping a paveway 6*: (v.) To defecate. Reduce the boarding mass, dump down to landing weight, increase the gliding range, A BITE and download

Dry your eyes: (phr.) Used to silence someone with problems when sympathy is not available or suitable to be dispensed. Man up, Get some hair on your arse, Zip in a spine

DTE: (acron.) Ditch the execs. An order to the effect that the current activities are to proceed without the presence of the squadron's senior officers present. cf. DTF

DTF : (acron. v.) Ditch The Fucker. The act of evading spending social time with someone you dislike.

Ducks in a row: (phr.) To be thinking well in advance of the current situation - for air and ground use Ahead of the aircraft

Duff: (adj.) Incorrect. Usually used in conjunction with Gen.

Dump down to landing weight: (v.) To defecate. Reduce the boarding mass, A BITE and download, Increase the gliding range, Drop a paveway 6

Durka-Durka-stan: (n.) Anywhere in the Middle East Sandpit, Hot and sandy place

Dust off: (v.) To fly too close to another aircraft cf. Wax, Beat up

Dutch helicopter: (n.) A windmill.

Duty grown up: (n.) The immediate supervisor of the current activity who is responsible for it.

Early doors: (n.) 1. Very early in the morning. 2. At a much earlier time than expected. Dark o'clock, Crack of a sparrow's, Stupid o'clock, O-dark hundred, O-four fuck's sake, O-silly hundred

Ease springs: (v.) To urinate. cf. Reduce the boarding mass

Economy of effort : (adj.) Term taken from air power doctrine and used as an excuse for getting a pass mark just above the required percentage in an exam. cf. Aircrew A, A kill is a kill

Egg: () Short form of the phrase "teach to suck eggs" apllied to information to indicate that it may be obvious to the person being told it. Eg: This is probably ~ but... Suck eggs

Egg: (n.) Elementary knowledge. From sucking eggs. Sucking eggs, Egg sucking exercise

Egyptian PT*: (v.) The act of sleeping.

Electric hat: (n.) A flying helmet. Bone dome, Lid

Emergency banter: (n.) Light-hearted parlance of an offensive nature used defensively when no witty comments can be thought of. Eg: Fuck off; Your mum. cf. Rev

End of: (adj.) This topic of the conversation is over, nothing you say to me about it will be acknowledged from now on. cf. Endex

Endex: (n.) Finish. Knock it on the head cf. End of

Engineering tap: (adv.) A blow administered to a piece of faulty equipment as a quick solution. cf. Aircrew reset/recycle

Erg: (n.) A generic unit of power. Usually refers to propulsion. cf. Bernoullis, Wiggly amps

Essential bus*: (n.) The last bus to town after happy hour. Shed bus

Excrement!: (stat.) A word used in jest as a substitute for the word excellent. Billy bonus/bollocks

Execery: (adv.) A collection of a squadron's flight commanders, executive officers and boss. cf. Head honcho, Top of the shop

Exemplar: (n.) An example.

Exit via the sunroof*: (v.) To eject. Bang seat, Rocket-propelled deckchair, Yellow and black taxi, Martin Baker Option

Exploding Chair: (n.) Ejector Seat

Eye snatcher*: (n.) An optician cf. Fang snatcher

Eyes on: (v.) To visually acquire something. Tally

F1 (something)*: (adj.) The best possible (something). A flawless version of (something). Eg: That was an ~ sortie plan.

Face-time: (phr.) Non productive time spent on the Sqn to impress superior officers

FACIT*: (acron.) Fuck about call it training.

Faff: (n. v.) 1. n. Unnecessary and possibly distracting things. 2. v. Waste time on activities not pertinent to the task in hand.

Fag chariot: (n.) A Tornado F3 aircraft. cf. Charioteer

Fall off: (v.) To be cancelled. Canned, Scrubbed cf. Slip to the right

Fandango*: (adj.) Highly intricate and complicated.

Fang snatcher*: (n.) A dentist. cf. Eye snatcher

Fast ball: (n.) A problem of which one has received little or no prior notification.

Fat Albert : (n.) Lockheed C130 Hercules

Fat finger: (v.) To type. Eg: You need to ~ that into the computer.

FAUTMOB: (acron.) Fuck All Use To Man or Beast. Something which is useless.

Feds: (n.) The military police Rozzers

Feet wet/dry: (adj.) To be directly overhead water or land.

Fella: (n.) Term of address generally used by individuals unable or unwilling to remember a person's name. Mate, Chap

Fess up: (v.) Own up to a mistake.

Fettle: (v.) Manipulate figures or navigational waypoints to improve a solution. Ackle, Fudge, Frig

Fightergator: (n.) A weapons systems operator.

File bravo one November*: (n.) The bin.

Fill your boots: (phr.) Feel free to expend as much effort as you like partaking in the activity we have been discussing. cf. Crack on

Fin 'F': (adj.) Tornado specific - a declaration that one is full, usually of beer. A reference to the indicator light in the cockpit when the fin fuel tank is fuelled to capacity.

Finals to: (adj.) Approaching the terminal stages of something. cf. Vinegar strokes

Fine pitch: (adv.) Haste. Eg: We left there in ~.

Finesse: (v.) To adjust something to make it work better. Frig, Fudge, Fettle

Finger faff: (adv.) The act of not achieving the aim through incorrect pressing of buttons due to confusion. Eg: Sorry i was on the wrong frequency, I had a ~ cf. Fat finger

Fire it up the chain: (v.) To present an idea or comment to higher echelons of command.

Firewall: (v.) The position that you push the throttles to when you are late. Balls to the wall cf. Meningyknots, Warp factor snot, Shit off a shiny shovel

Five/Ten/ Twenty spot: (n.) A note of the local currency. cf. Blat, Shekel, Beer token/chit

FJC*: (acron. n.) Fast Jet Cock. Used in a self complimentary way to indicate that women are attracted to fast jet aircrew, Eg: You can tell she wants some ~.

Flag up: (v.) Draw attention to an error or omission.

Flapping: (v.) To be visibly and audibly distressed by something. cf. Faff, Rolling goat

Flare/Chaff it off: (v.) To get rid of something, particularly an onerous task. Eg: He asked me to check all last years stats but i managed to ~ Chin off, Gaff off

Flash to bang time: (n.) The amount of time between the instigation of an action and its consequences, esp. relating to bad news, and ensuing anger.

Flash up: (v.) 1. Display on a computer screen. 2. Get aggressively irate.

Flex: (n.) An ability to reallocate resources should a change of circumstances demand it. eg: have we got the ~ to go to the range?

Flexible feast: (adj.) A plan that could result in many varied ways of achieving the aims.

Flick spin die/depart: (v.) A quick sucession of catastropic events leading to death or serious injury.

Flight level Moon: (n.) Very high indeed. Flight level Nose bleed

Flight level nosebleed: (n.) A very high altitude.

Flight safety video/publication: (n.) Pornographic video/magazine.

Flip Flop : (v.) To change. Eg: We'll just keep ~ing between frequencies.

Floating around in the ether*: (adj.) Travelling at a random speed and height close to low level heights but not tactical.

Flugeling: (v.) Deutchlish word for flying.

Fly it up the flag pole (And see who salutes it): (v.) To initiate the early stages of a plan and gauge the reaction of those associated with it. Press to test

Flying prevention branch: (n.) The medical branch.

Flying tea trolley: (n.) A harrier aircraft. Plastic pig, Wozzle jet, Bona

Foot stamper: (unknown) Something that may catch you out or disrupt your plan. Gotcha cf. Showstopper

For cash: (adv.) Approximately. Eg; That's 3 miles ~. cf good enough for government work

For my money: (phr.) In my opinion.

For real aye: (phr.) In reality. Said in the accent of Ali G.

For shits and giggles/grins: (adj.) For no other reason than it's providing amusement.

For you the war is over: (v.) Decrease one's state of readiness for the foreseeable future. …and relax, Hang slack, Chill herbs

Foxtrot oscar: (v. phon.) To remove oneself from the locale. cf. SID, Depart the fix, Do one, Bang out, Poke off, Make like a…

Frag: (v.) 1. To allocate someone or something to a task 2. To seriously damage something or someone.

Frat: (v.) To kill your friend in air combat.

Frig: (v.) To adjust something instinctively to make it work in reality. Ackle, Fettle, Fudge

Frig/fudge-factor: (n.) An improvised factor to apply to a set of figures to achieve a better-looking solution. Ackle, Fettle

From that side (of the house): (phr.) Concerning one of the factors of the topic we are discussing.

From the (something) side : (stat.) Concerning one of the factors of the (something) we are discussing. From that side

From the get go: (adj.) From the very beginning. From the word go

From the word go: (adj.) From the very beginning. From the get go

Fuck me readers/sideways/backwards: (excl.) Indicates shock at a revelation or situation. Usually sarcastic. (From Viz's Roger Mellie) Shitty death

Fuck Me Shoot Me Block: (n.) To be at a poor altitude, neither too high nor too low to avoid engagement.

Fuck off in Fine Pitch: (unknown) Turbo prop expression meaning to leave a situation or location as quickly as possible. Maxi-Chat, Balls to the Wall

Fuck off to gaurd: (v.) Phrase used in formation briefing to help remember that the signal to go to the UHF distress frequency is two fingers pointing upwards.

Fuck this for a game of soldiers : (stat.) I am no longer prepared to devote any attention to the current activity because I have lost interest or disapprove of it.

Fuck-Arsing: (v.) Wasting time. Faffing.

Fudge: (v.) To adjust something instinctively to make it work in reality. Ackle, Fettle, Frig

Fuel bitches : (pl. n.) Least capable ac in a combined air operation package from a fuel point of view, around which most of the sortie planning has to be done Weak sisters

Fur ball: (n.) An area where intense air combat is taking place. cf. Knife fight in a phonebox

G-Limited: (phr.) Used when choosing a curry from a restaurant menu as an excuse not to have a particularly hot one as this may cause problems when flying under increased g-force.

GAFA: (acron.) Great Arabian Fuck All

GAFA: (acron.) Greater Arabian Fuck All - Large area of featureless desert that constitutes most of the Middle East

Gaff : (n.) One's place of residence.

Gaff off: (v.) Ignore. Kiss off, Chin off

Game face*: (adj.) Used to describe an operational frame of mind that one must be in in order to execute a task with maximum professionalism.

Gashing: (v.) To perform an act with little care or precision in order to reach a barely acceptable solution. Good enough for government work, TLAR

Gassing : (v.) Speaking

Gats & blats*: (n.) Weapons and ammunition drawn from the station amoury. cf. Pea shooter

Gen: (n.) Knowledge of a subject. Gouge

Gen dit (6 clips / 12 clips): (n.) Definitely correct information. Pukka gen

General Yamsing / Yamamoto: (n.) Theoretical person to which a toast is made before compulsory drinking of entire drink in one go. Yam

Gentlemen's height*: (adj.) Very low. In the weedyshpere

Gentlemen's speed*: (adj.) Very fast. Warp factor snot, Meningy knots, Shit off a shiny shovel, At the speed of a thousand gazellesc

Gentlemen's*: (n.) Use of afterburner. Eg: Just using a bit of ~ to get the speed up. Carrots, Heaters, Toasters, Cookers

George*: (n.) An aircraft's autopilot.

Get a handle on: (v.) Gain control of the situation. Grip it

Get a hard on about something: (v.) Become mildly agitated or concerned about something.

Get a shed on: (v.) To become extremely inebriated. Shedded, Build a shed

Get ahead of the game: (v.) Act in a pre-emptive manner to put oneself at an advantage. Lead turn

Get bunched: (v.) To become worried or worked up about something.

Get in my/your chilli: (phr.) To unneccessarily interfere with somebodys plan, usually without all the information. "Long Screwdriver"

Get into groove*: (v.) To become accustomed with the best way of operating.

Get involved: (v.) To fully immerse oneself in the accomplishment of a task. Get stuck in

Get on the blower to: (v.) To make radio contact with. Eg: ~ Lossiemouth Approach. Bell up

Get one's … hat on: (v.) Be aware that the discipline into which you are moving requires a different set of skills. Eg: Get your Instrument Flying hat on. Change cassette

Get shit in a pile: (n.) Something adequately organised. Squared away, Shit in one sock

Get shit in one sock : (n.) Something adequately organised. Squared away, Shit in a pile

Get smash on: (v.) Significantly increase speed. Get the coals on

Get some hair on your arse*: (ordrer) Adopt an emotionless macho attitude and conceal any worries or weaknesses. Man up, Dry your eyes, Zip in a spine

Get stuck in: (v.) To fully immerse oneself in the accomplishment of a task. Get involved, cf. Get the ball rolling, crack on

Get the ball rolling: (v.) To commence an activity. Get the show on the road cf. Crack on

Get the coals on: (v.) Significantly increase speed. Get smash on

Get the hell out of dodge: (v.) To depart a place of danger or displeasing things. cf. Bang out, Foxtrot oscar

Get the show on the road: (v.) To commence an activity. Get the ball rolling cf. Crack on

Get to it: (inst.) Normally used at the end of a brief to signal it's termination and to motivate those being briefed to commence the task that has been explained.

Get with the program: (phr.) You need to realign yourself to the course of action which I believe to be correct.

Get your life together: (v.) To adequately organise your affairs.

Get your name on the wall : (v.) To be better than average at something.

GFI : (acron.) Describes someone who is in desperate need of sexual intercourse. Gagging For It.

Gibloons: (n.) The currency in Gibralta. cf. Spot, Shekel, Beer token/chit, Blat

Gimlet: (n.) A small boring tool

Gin Clear: (adj.) A day of excellent visibility. cf. Ginners

Gingers: (rhym. slang.) Engineers.

Ginners : (adj.) A period of excellent weather. Blue blue day, Scorchio cf. Gin clear

Give a good listening to: (phr.) The act of being bollocked

Give birth to a (....): (v.) A way of saying that one is about to defecate. One inserts the trade the they most despise at the end of the phrase. Eg: I'm off to ~ admin'er. Drop a (...) off at the pool

Gizza : (n.) A piece of paper containing summarised useful information. Often never ever used except to fill aircrew kneepads. cf. Cheat sheet

Gnat's cock: (n.) An infinitesimally small amount.

Go ahead: (phr.) I give you my permission to start talking. cf. Send, Ready to copy

Go green: (v.) Become quiet or silent.

Go juice: (n.) Fuel.

Go to it: (inst.) Continue or commence the task that you have just been briefed about. cf. Crack on

Goat: (n.) An imaginary factor which, when unleashed, causes a situation to deteriorate rapidly. cf. Rolling goat

God's G : (n.) The normal acceleration of the earths gravity which can be utilised when at the top of a vertical manoeuvre during air combat. Combat egg cf. Furball

Gods infra red counter measure : (n.) The sun.

Golden: (adj.) To be without blame.

Good Drills: (phr.) To show ones approval of actions, often meant in a slightly patronising manor. Good Skills

Good enough for govt work: (phr.) Used to justify not applying any more effort to improve a less than perfect solution. There or thereabouts

Good skills : (n.) A way of stating one's approval for the actions another has recently performed.

Good spot: (phr.) Well done for pointing out or noticing the thing that you previously referred to.

Good to go: (adj.) In a state of total preparedness. Locked and loaded, Hot to trot

Goolie chit*: (n.) A piece of paper carried on aircrew in case of capture that states that, if delivered into safety by a person, that person will be financially rewarded.

Goon bag: (n.) An immersion suit. Growbag, Babygrow

Got to be good to be gash : (phr.) Phrase justifying a less than professional performance.

Gotcha*: (n.) Something that may catch you out or disrupt your plan. cf. Government health warning

Gouge : (n.) US Military term for useful knowledge of a subject. Gen

Government health warning*: (n.) A cautionary message that should be noted to ensure that things proceed according to plan. cf. Gotcha

Granite: (n.) A generic term for the ground.

Granularity: (adj.) A stupidly semi-ironic intentionally comedic way of describing: detail. Eg: Let me give some ~ about that plan.

Grating my chode: (adv.) Something that is very annoying.

Graunch: (onomat.) The sound of two mechanical items rubbing together with great amounts of friction, usually leading to mechanical failure.

Graze the base height*: (phr.) To fractionally infringe the rules. Spoon through base height

Great shakes: (n. pl.) Large problems or significant factors. Usually utilised in the negative.

Green brain: (n.) An aircrew kneepad, which usually contains large amounts of information that may be unable to be recalled mentally whilst airborne. cf. Gizza

Grip it: (v.) Gain control of the situation. Get a handle on

Ground happy: (adj.) A state of mind where having spent a long time away from flying that you now fear it.

Grow bag: (n.) An aircrew coverall. Goonbag, Babygrow

Grunt: (n.) A member of the non commissioned ranks of the RAF regiment or the army. A foot soldier. Cannon fodder

Gubbins : (pl n.) Internal components of a piece of equipment.

Gucci: (adj.) New or advanced technology. Spangly, Swept-up

Gusting: (v.) Indicates a possible increase in the quantity of something. Eg: 17 jets available, gusting 18.

H Hour*: (n.) Happy hour. cf. Beer O Clock

Hack: (stat.) Said when someone enters a brief or transport to exaggerate their tardiness.

HAIGTDT: (acron.) How Am I Going To Do This? Ridiculously long non-spoken acronym sometimes used by idiots in briefs or planning.

Hammer away: (v.) To adequately organise something. Square away, Shit in a pile, Shit in one sock

Hand off: (n.) Abdicate responsibility for something.

Handbrake house : (n.) Station headquarters. cf. Scribbley

Handrail*: (v.) To use a large or unique feature on the landscape as an anchor point or aid to acquisition of smaller features.

Hang slack: (v.) Decrease one's state of readiness for the moment. …and relax, Chill herbs, Chill your beans cf. Standby to standby

Hanger queen: (n.) An aircraft that seems to be permanently broken.

Hanging off the tailplane: (v.) To have reached the limit of one's mental capacity when airborne. Waterskiing behind the aircraft cf. Maxed out

Hanging on the blades: (adv.) To put an aircraft in a position where it's performance only just exceeds the demands placed upon it by the forces gravity and drag.

Happy avec (Ca) : (french. stat.) I am content with the situation. Happy days, Job's a good-'un, Happy with that (Hotel Whiskey Tango)

Happy days: (excl.) I am content with the current state of affairs. Job's a good-'un, Happy with that (Hotel whisky tango)

Happy medium: (n.) A compromise.

Happy with that (Hotel whisky tango): (stat. phon.) I am content with the situation. Happy days, Job's a good-'un

Harry: (adj. n.) 1. adj. Naval term used to emphasise other Naval terms. 2. n. The Station Commander. Staish

Harry Shyters : (adj.) Very drunk. Shedded, Get a shed on

Hat no coffee chat/interview: (n.) A disciplinary interview with your superior. Hats on

Hats on: (n.) A disciplinary interview with your superior. Hat no coffee chat/interview

Have a sidebar*: (v.) To get together with one person from a group out of earshot the other members to discuss a point. Offline

Head fire : (adj.) Fictional description of the brain actually catching fire due to input overload describing the point at which a person reaches their maximum mental capacity. Maxed out

Head honcho: (n.) The most senior person present. Top of the shop

Head shed: (n.) The senior person present. Head Honcho, Top of the shop

Head-scratching: (v.) The process that one goes through to try and determine the answer to a particularly difficult problem.

Heads-up : (n.) Early warning of impending situations.

Heaters: (pl. n.) Afterburners. Carrots, Cookers

Helen Keller: (n.) From the famous deaf, dumb and blind musician. Code used in emergencies by aircrew to communicate between aircraft when radio communication is unavailable.

Hello pot this is kettle colour check send : (stat. RT.) An idiotic adaptation of the popular phrase "pot calling kettle black" into a form of RT phraseology.

Her Majesty's flying club*: (n.) The Royal Air Force.

Hess : (n. ) Term for hassle used almost exclusively by Chinook personnel. Eg: I went to HQ and they gave me a load of ~.

Hip pocket: (n.) The closest suitable diversion for an aircraft.

Hit the ground running: (v.) To be prepared for.

Hittile: (n.) A missile which has no proximity sensor and needs to hit you before exploding. Used by idiots who have no idea of the Latin roots of the word 'missile' (mittere - to send out).

Hoik/Hoyk: (v.) To pull something. Eg You'll need to ~ the nose up. Crank it round, Yug

Hold off*: (v.) Delay making a decision or acting on something.

Hold the hammer: (v.) Be responsible for the outcome of something.

Home plate: (n.) One's base location.

Honcho: (v.) Supervise the execution of a task.

Honest joe*: (n.) A honest debrief where nothing is held back.

Honking: (adv.) Very powerful in terms of velocity or energy. Usually applied to wind.

Honking TACAN: (n.) Navigator Backseater

Hoof off: (v.) To Release Something usually a weapon. Punk off, Plinking cf. Dunk

Hoop: (adj.) Used to describe something as rubbish. A substitute for the word shit.

Horns out: (adj.) To be in a heightened aggressive state of mind causing one to take greater risks than usaual.

Horses for courses: (phr.) Statement affirming that people will always be more comfortable with a situation which suits them.

Hose : (v.) To apply large amounts of a substance to a chosen object e.g. I ~ed the target with bullets

Hot and sandy lands: (adj.) A desert theatre of operations. Sandpit

Hot poop*: (n.) Recent important information.

Hot to trot: (adj.) In a state of total preparedness. Locked and loaded, Good to go

HOTASery: (unknown) A very specialised part fictional educational subject created to express the familiarity with the sequence of switches that need to be made to allow the desired action to occur. HOTASery is only associated with those switches found on the throttle or stick.

How do you think that went?: (phr.) A question designed to demoralise by prompting the person being asked to admit how badly they handled the situation that has just occurred. cf. Be better

How goes it: (n.) A poorly conjugated version of "how is it going" used to describe a point in time at which the state of completion of the task evaluated.

How the devil?: (greeting.) A polite greeting; Abbreviated form of the saying "How the devil are you?" usually emphasised in an overly snobbish style of speaking.

However, comma : (stat.) Spoken punctuation used for comedy effect usually during a briefing.

Hurry up and wait: (phr.) Used to describe frustration usually with movements personnel who hurry you to place only for you to be waiting what seems to be unreasonable amounts of time when you get there for the next step or stage.

Hydraulic palm tree: (n.) A helicopter. Cab

I have a (Non-aircraft related) caption: (phr.) Indicates a problem that the speaker is experiencing.

Idle, boards: (adv.) Slow down. Slam on anchors

IFU3*: (n.) Term used by Tornado GR4 navigators to refer to pilots. Stick monkey, VPSI

In: (stat.) Good. Spoken loudly exaggerating the first phoneme possibly with use of a hand gesture. cf. out

In (anyone's) shorts: (v.) To be behind one's opponent during air to air combat. Saddled up

In a oner : (adj.) Describes the action of completing a task on the first attempt.

In anger : (adv.) To do something for real rather than practice.

In hot / Off Dry: (v.) Used to describe the outcome of a liaison with a member of the opposite sex DCO/DNCO

In spades: (adj.) A term used to exaggerate the quantity or enormity of something, usually used after the phrase fuck up.

In the frame: (phr. prep.) Eligible for.

Incoming: (stat.) Something is about to enter your vicinity.

Increase the gliding range: (v.) To defecate. Reduce the boarding mass, Dump down to landing weight, A BITE and download, Drop a paveway 6

Indicators on a fish : (n.) Something utterly pointless or without use. Tits on a fish

Ingress: (v.) Make one's way into.

Int bint: (n.) A female intelligence officer.

Iron bitch : (n.) A boom-drogue adapter assembly. Donkey's dick

Iron mongery : (n.) Any large basic expendable stores.

Irregular release: (v.) 1. Premature ejaculation. 2. To unintentionally defaecate after passing wind. cf. Reduce the boarding mass

It's a mayday: (phr.) A dire situation. Mare, Shocker

It's not your day : (stat.) A patronising way of saying that if you have tried all recommended methods of tackling a problem and still do not succeed; then you haven't succeeded and it's not your fault.

Jack: (n. / adj.) One who does not contribute adequately to the team effort. May be used in conjunction with nouns to imply that they have been obtained selfishly, Eg. ~ wets.

Jack up*: (v.) To arrange or schedule an event or activity. Tee up

Jane's All The World's…: (adj.) A considerably large number of the things to which the phrase is alluding. Eg. "This club is like ~ fit women." cf. Yarnex

Jiggery pokery: (n.) A number of actions that are not understood that result in a favourable outcome.

Job Jobbed: (stat.) Job Completed Satisfactorily Jobs a good-'un

Job's a good-'un: (phr.) I am content with the current state of affairs. Happy with that (Hotel Whisky Tango), Happy days

Joe / Joe'ed: (v.) To give or be given a job to do, usually of a tiresome nature. Sponged

Joe public: (n.) A member of the general public.

Jolly: (n. ) An un-assessed trip in an aircraft.

Jonny two shits: (n.) Someone who always claims to have gone one better, they holiday in Elevenarrife. These people are normally lying.

Judy: (Order) I have it from here. From the brevity codeword used to stop Fighter Controllers giving further instructions during an air-to-air intercept. Often used to interrupt a long winded explanation on how to do something simple.

Jugs: (n.) External fuel tanks. Bags

Julie Andrews: (n.) A cup of tea or coffee containing milk and no sugar. NATO standard, Whoopie Goldberg, Linford Christie, Shirley Bassey

Jumping Bean: (n.) A "quirky" reference to the vertical take-off and landing capabilities of the Harrier, and increasingly the F35B Lightning II STOVL variant.

Jumping out of a perfectly good aircraft: (v.) Description of the act of parachuting for sport given by someone who disapproves, or is afraid, of it.

Jumping through hoops: (v.) The act of performing a set of activities to please those in charge and allow your progression to the next stage. Playing the game

Jungle drums/telegraph: (n.) A method of transmission of believable untruths. Rumour mill

Jungle Juice: (n.) The fluid used to clean overhead profjection slides or display boards. Found in squirty bottles. Chateau XXX, House White

Junta: (pl. n.) The junior aircrew offices on a squadron. Shag

Key: (v.) To press a button, specifically the button that allows one to transmit on the radio.

Kick the arse out of it : (v.) 1. To perform every possible iteration or approach to a problem or activity.

Kick the tires and light the fires : (v.) To get airborne in an expeditious fashion possibly without regard for thorough procedure. cf. Press tits

KIMAYOYO : (acron.) Kiss my ass you're on your own.

Kin: (adv.) Polite way of saying the expletive: fucking, used to amplify something. Eg: It is ~ cold. Chuffing

Kipper : (v.) 1. To ruin the chances of success. You ~ed yourself there. 2. Someone incapable of making a decision. Scupper

Kipper fleet: (n.) The organisation within the RAF which operates the Nimrod on maritime patrol.

Kiss off: (v.) Ignore. Gaff off, Chin off

Kit: (n.) Aircraft electronic systems. Eg: The ~ broke.

Kit bags : (adj.) A lot. Eg: Laughing ~.

Kitty : (n.) A collection of currency contributed to equally by all members in the group, held by a single nominated person, with which top buy alcoholic beverages for the group. cf. The cat is dead, The cat

Klingon cloaking device: (n.) An array of electronics that allows one to jam enemy radar.

Knife fight in a phone box: (phr.) 1. Conducting aerial combat in a area of constricted airspace. 2. A dogfight between two highly-manoeuvrable aircraft. Fur ball

Knock it on the head: (v.) Terminate the current activity. Endex

Kybosh: (v.) Terminate an activity for the foreseeable future. Eg. Putting the ~ on something.

Laughing boy : (n.) Slightly comedic expression for any person standing close by during the telling of a story or description of a situation. cf. Muggins

Laying on of hands*: (v.) An expression describing the imparting of authority to someone as if it was some form of semi religious professional blessing. Eg: I am an authoriser but I have not yest received the ~.

Lead turn: (v.) Get ahead of something. Get ahead of the game

LEAN: (adj.) A term used decribe the action of saving money. Eg: We didn't go out this weekend we had a ~ weekend.

Left or right of arc*: (adj.) Off the point.

Legs: (adj.) The range of something usually an airborne object such as a missile or aircraft. Eg: This surface to air missile has longer ~ than that one.

Leroy: (v.) to use someone's banter/joke, and try to pass it off as your own, but then get caught by them as they happened to be in earshot at the time of useage. eg, "you just ~"

Letterboxing: (v.) To fly between an area of low cloud and the ground; specifically a hill top. Nicky-nacky-noo, Shneeble

LI's: (acron. pl. n.) Lessons Identified.

Lid*: (n.) 1. Helmet. 2. Aircraft Canopy Bonedome, Canapé,

Lift fairies: (n.) Term used by the uneducated to describe the origin of lift (they live in the flaps, apparently). Bernouillis, Sky hooks

Like a god : (adv.) Applied to any verb that was done particularly well. Eg: I marked the target ~.

Like shit off a shiny shovel: (sim.) Very fast. Meningy knots, Warp factor snot

Lima charlie*: (phon. acron.) Phonetic alphabet acronym meaning loud and clear.

Line in the sand: (n.) A defined limit or point at which to stop.

Line of ducks: (pl. n.) A verbose way of describing aircraft in a trail formation.

Linford Christie : (n.) A cup of tea or coffee served black with one lump of sugar. cf. Julie Andrews, Whoopie Goldberg, Shirley Bassey, NATO Standard

Lip service: (n.) The act of verbally expressing actions but not physically performing them. cf. Mouth music

Lip stall: (v.) 1. To be unable to answer an unexpected question, put to you under pressure, instantly. 2. To say the wrong or inappropriate thing. cf. Brain fart

Listen in : (v.) To pay attention to something. May be used as a command.

LMF : (acron. adj.) Lack of Moral Fibre, used to describe anyone who doesn't want to or cannot do what you are asking due to factors that you consider insignificant. cf. Man up

Load shed: (v.) 1. To reduce one's body mass, usually by expelling urine or fecal matter; 2. To tip away the top 2 millimeters of a hot beverage to make it easier to carry.

Locked and loaded: (adj.) Ready. Good to go

Long haired air marshall : (n.) One's wife or female partner. Dragon ops, Red air, CinC home command, M.R.S.

Long screwdriver*: (n.) A theoretical device that can be used to control another person's actions from a long distance, usually across a formation of aircraft or from the rear to front cockpit of a tandem aircraft.

Loud and clear: (stat.) Said when one has fully understood what has been said.

Low energy into the merge: (adj.) Used to describe a lack of situational awareness with which to deal with a problem. From air combat terminology.

Low PK: (Excl.) Low probability of kill - No Chance; Not a hope in hell etc.

LP cock pressure only*: (phr.) Phrase used to tell all around you that you are having difficulty urinating. cf. Point and shoot

Lumpy jumper : (n.) A female member of the armed forces. cf. Int bint

Lunch: (v.) To induce errors in one's navigation system. Out to lunch

M.R.S.: (n.) One's wife or partner. Dragon Ops, CinC home command

Mad woman shitting: (adj.) Describes a very random scattering when talking about where one's bombs have landed.

Mag to grid: (v. Rhym Slang.) To dispose of something. From the phrase 'Map to grid, get rid'.

Maggots*: (n.) Trainee pilots. cf. Peanut gallery

Magners Magners*: (Stat.) Tornado GR4 specific statement, sounding similar to a GR4 airborne codeword, used in a bar to indicate that the speaker would like a bottle of Magners Cider.

Mahogany Bomber: (n.) A desk.

Make inroads into: (v.) To complete a reasonable proportion of the task.

Make it Work: (Order) I don't know how to teach you this so just do it. BTAC

Make like a…: (v.) To leave immediately. Eg: ~shepherd, ~swastika, ~tree. Foxtrot Oscar, Depart the fix, SID, Bang out, Poke off, Do one

Make no apologies for…: (stat.) An apology made by the speaker to appease you as you may not want to hear what they are saying because you heard it numerous times before.

Make safe (anything) : (v.) A complete unload followed by a load. Usually said when referring to a bag or an aircraft. Eg: I've just had to ~ my bag so that I can close it.

Making glass : (adj.) Dropping highly explosive munitions in a sandy environment.

Man of your calibre (or Candelabra): (adj.) Slightly sarcastic but positive description of someone, used to give encouragement to them after they have been tasked with something relatively complex. Eg: It should be no problem for a ~.

Man up: (v.) Adopt an emotionless macho attitude and conceal any worries or weaknesses. Get some hair on your arse, Zip in a spine cf. Dry your eyes

Mandraulically: (adv.) Conduct an activity which is normally automated, without recourse to the usual level of automation. Rev cf. Practice bleed

Mare: (n.) A horrendous experience. From Night~. May be reffered to as a Barry White~ (rhym. slang). Shocker

Mark one (anything): (n.) The simplest form of any item of equipment. Eg: ~ adjuster, ~eyeball, ~bullshit detectors.

Marry up: (v.) To pair together.

Mars bar: (n.) A thick tipped pen.

Martin Baker option/letdown: (n.) Ejection seat or the act of ejection. Bang seat, Rocket-propelled deckchair, Yellow and black taxi, Exit via the sunroof

Mash: (v.) To push a button. Podge

Mass live : (v.) Used in the context of family planning to inform others that you are trying for a baby. cf. Pickle off

Massage: (v.) To adjust figures or parameters to suit ones needs, usually so that they fall within the required limits to complete the task. Fettle, Ackle

Master green : (adj.) Used to describe a currency other than instrument flying. Eg: she gave me my ~ for shagging last night.

Master purple rating: (n.) An imaginary instrument flying rating used as a comedic excuse for breaking the legal limits that a pilot is allowed to fly to in order to land at their desired airfield in very poor weather conditions.

Master recycle*: (v.) To turn a piece of equipment off and then back on as many times as are required before correct function is achieved. O.N. / O.F.F. Switch cf. Engineering tap, Aircrew recycle

Matey boy: (n.) When telling a story or describing a fictional situation this term is used to describe a colleague.

Maths in public : (n.) Conducting a rapid calculation under pressure of examination. Usually said after the event, when the calculated figure was incorrect. cf. Thinx bubble

Max(y) chat : (adj.) Fastest achievable speed. cf. Meningy knots, Warp factor snot

Maxed out: (adj.) To have reached the limit of one's mental capacity. cf. Head fire

Me & thee: (pl. n. O.E.) Term used, for comedy effect, to refer to the speaker and listener. cf. Muggins

Me old: (n.) Expression used to greet someone who you claim to be a friend but usually is just a colleague or associate. Eg: Hello ~ cf. Oppo

Measure with a micrometer, hit with an axe: (phr.) To spend an inappropriately long time refining something that will be applied with a lot less precision. cf. Wank HAMPA/TAMPA

Meat and two veg : (adj.) Term used to describe actions that are used so often that they are often considered the basic principles of the subject under discussion. Bread and butter

Meat bombs: (pl. n.) Paratroopers.

Meningy knots: (adj.) Extremely fast. Warp factor snot, Shit off a shiny shovel, At the speed of a thousand gazelles, Balls to the wall

Mensurated: (adj.) Measured. Usually incorrectly referring to the accuracy of coordinates. If said coordinates are mensurated they are considered high accuracy even though they could have been measured very poorly.

Met roulette: (v.) To gamble that the meteorological forecast for the next day is so bad that one will not be flying and therefore not obey the drinking consumption and time limit rules pertaining to safe aviation. Drink on the met

Mikes: (R.T.) Minutes.

Military TV Channel*: (n.) Fast jest specific term referring to the display from a target designation pod.

Milling around: (v.) Act of loitering with no intent.

Mincing*: (v.) Acting homosexually, generally applied to people who are not acting purposefully enough.

Minutes few*: (phr.) A short time.

Miramarham: (n.) A disgraceful Top Gun-esque way of referring to RAF Marham.

Mixed bag: (n.) 1. A mixture of disciplines. 2. A variety of outcomes, some desirable, others less so.

MOAB : (acron.) Mother of all bombs. Often used when speaking about 3kg practice bombs sarcastically. 3kg terror weapon

MOD Plod: (n.) The ministry of defence police. Snow drops

Motion lotion : (n.) Fuel.

Mouth music: (n.) Verbal expression of actions as they are performed; often learned by rote. Some instructors consider its verbatim repetition to be of greater importance than the successful execution of the associated tasks. cf. Lip service

Move to 45 wing: (phr.) Increase one's work rate or pace to finish a task more quickly.

Mud: (n.) Ground attack asset or aircrew.

Mud mover : (n.) Aircrew person who is involved in a ground attack role.

Muggins: (n.) The speaker. cf. Me & thee

Muppetry: (n.) Idiocy. Making mistakes.

Musical runways: (adj.) A situation where the wind favours different runways alternately in a short time period.

MWT : (acron.) Military Waiting Time. The culmination of all the delays to a journey or event caused by being inefficient or by adding too much time safety margin before an events.

Nagging Nora: (n.) The synthetic woman's voice in terrain avoidance software that instructs a pilot to perform actions to avoid collision. Bitching Betty

NATO standard: (n.) A cup of tea or coffee containing milk and one sugar. Julie Andrews, Whoopie Goldberg

Nause: (n.) Something unpleasant that is usually boring and time consuming. Chaffe, Ball ache

NB : (phr. abbr.) Used incorrectly as a verb to impress the importance of remembering the topic being discussed. cf. At the end of the day, Bottom line

Nebbsville: (adj.) A reinforcement of Nebby cf. Nebby

Nebby: (adj.) 1. Something poorly defined and hard to be certain about. 2. Dubious, esp. ref. weather. cf. Skoshie

Needle nose : (v.) To point the nose of the aircraft directly at someone else's aircraft in a threatening way, cf. Beak to beak, 180 by zip

Negatron: (int.) Not correct. cf. Dim

Next event: (n.) Basic navigation terminology applied to everyday life meaning What is happening next.

NFF: (acron.) No Fault Found. After investigation of a fault the investigator can see nothing wrong.

NFF: (acron.) Not F**king Fixed. Derogatory aircrew antonym to the engineering comment 'No Fault Found'

NFI: (abbr.) Not Fucking Interested. Often used in conjunction with Caption.

Nib: (v.) To constantly inform someone of minor mistakes, usually causing them to make further mistakes due to the being unable to concentrate on the activity because of constant interruption.

Nibble the buffet : (v.) To be just within acceptable limits of something. cf. Sneeble, Nicky nacky noo

Nibbled to death by ducks: (adv.) Being beset upon all sides with small requests or criticisms that seem trivial and distracting from important matters at hand. cf. Nif naf & triv

Nicky-nacky-noo: (allit.) Process of circumnavigating areas of poor weather or restrictions at Low Level. cf. Wyfadyll, Dick dance

Nif naff & triv: (n.) Insignificant, but necessary, administrative activities.

No brainer: (adj.) Something that is relatively easy. cf. A-level

No Duff*: (adj.) What I am about to say is the truth.

No snags: (adj) No Problems. Snagless, Dim snaggio,

No stick no vote : (phr.) Said purposely by pilots to enrage anyone not in control of the aircraft to indicate that his/her decision is final.

Noddy: (adj) Simple or straight-forward. Piec of (old) piss, cf. A-level

Noddy guide: (n.) A step by step process that is very easy to follow to achieve the desired result. cf. Gizza

Noggie : (n.) Norwegian person cf. Cloggie

Non event: (n.) Something so trivial or easy that it is hardly worth talking about.

Non-standard: (adj.) Something or someone that does not conform accepted usual practices.

Norfolk land shark: (n. ) A Tornado GR Aircraft. The fin

Nose gunner : (n.) Used purposely incorrectly to describe the pilot of an aircraft. Wings, Stick monkey, Seat to stick interface

Not dressed to survive: (adj.) To be inappropriately dressed for the current weather conditions. Eg: Its raining and I don't have a coat i'm ~.

Nozzly no mates: (n.) Derogotary term for a Harrier pilot. One man one fan

Nuts and Bolts of it: (n.) The most elementary parts of a subject or object. cf. Basics

O-silly hundred: (n.) Very early in the morning. Stupid o'clock, O-dark hundred, O-four fuck's sake, Dark o'clock, Crack of a sparrow's, Early doors

O.N. / O.F.F. switch: (n.) Sarcastic reference to the primary power selector for a piece of electrical equipment. Used when the correct operation of the item is under question. cf. Aircrew reset/recycle

OC Feds*: (n.) The officer in charge of the RAF Police.

Octaflugeron : (n.) A non specific aerobatic manoeuvre Wyffidyl

Off spec*: (adj.) A poor performance. cf. Deferred success

Off the top of your head: (adv.) Used to describe the production of an answer or estimate, instantly, without reference to any outside material. cf. Maths in public

Officer's height and gentlemen's speed: (adj.) Flight parameters of a flypast.

Offline*: (n.) Not in full view of the group that the speaker is currently with. Eg: you and I will get together ~ to discuss that. Have a sidebar

Oggin: (n.) Large expanse of water. Ogsplosh

Ogsplosh: (n.) A large expanse of water. Oggin

On fire: (adj.) Used to describe someone who is performing particularly well for the moment. The boy

On receive lad : (order.) You will listen to what I am about to say without interruption.

On top of things: (adj.) In total control of the current situation. cf. Ahead of the aircraft, Ahead of the drag curve, Ahead of the game, All over it like a (cheap) rash

One in the bomb bay: (adj.) Pregnant.

One man one fan: (n.) A Harrier Pilot.

Ones and noughts/zeros: (pl. n.) Dismissive term used by the uneducated to simplify the action of computer programs. cf. Wiggly amps, Black magic, White man's magic

Op deny Christmas/Easter/Leave: (n.) A fictional operation invented to complain about being on duty during public holiday periods.

Op pot: (n.) A horrible drink given to aircrew as a "reward" for becoming combat ready.

Op tempo: (adj.) Describe the current amount of ongoing operations and their drain on resources and materiel. Usually used as and excuse for making one's life difficult. Eg: because of the current ~ you are going to stay in Iraq for 10 years.

Oppo : (n.) A friend. cf. Me old

Ops normal: (phr.) A telephone call to one's partner to confirm your continuing existence. Check in with dragon ops

Orderly/duty bod/bitch: (n.) The person who has been allocated the mundane duty for the moment.

Out: (stat.) Bad Spoken loudly exaggerating the first phoneme possibly with use of a hand gesture. cf. in

Out of here: (stat.) An obvious statement said at the beginning of a navigation brief whilst thinking of the next thing to say, may be prefixed by the word airborne.

Out of the equation: (v.) To no longer be privy to relevant information pertaining to the topic of discussion. Out of the loop, Out of the picture

Out of the loop: (v.) To no longer be privy to relevant information pertaining to the topic of discussion.

Out of the picture: (v.) To no longer be privy to relevant information pertaining to the topic of discussion. Out of the equation, Out of the loop

Out to lunch : (adj.) Used to describe a piece of electronic equipment that is broken or not performing as it should. Lunch

Outbreak of morale: (n.) Term used to describe a welcome period of happiness in an environment which is usually devoid of it.

Oxygen Bandit: (n.) One that does not deserve to live. Somebody who steals oxygen from those that really need it.

Pacman: (v.) To systematically destroy all aircraft in a formation one by one in sequence.

Pain au beurre : (adj.) Term used to describe actions that are used so often that they are often considered the basic principles of the subject under discussion. Meat and two veg, Bread and butter

Pain et Beurre: (adj.) Term used to describe actions that are used so often that they are often considered the basic principles of the subject under discussion. Meat and two veg, Bread and butter Basics

Pairs non-visual: (v.) To defecate in adjacent cubicals with an associate. Pairs visual

Pairs visual: (v.) To urinate in adjacent urinals with an associate. Pairs non-visual

Pansy pickle : (v.) To not press hard enough on the weapons release button resulting in no drop of ordnance.

Paperworkex: (n.) An activity that involves recourse only to planning on the ground, not to actually physically doing anything. Practice bleed, Practice plan

Parachute Position: (n.) Lying face down on the bed - usually unconscious with drink

Peachy: (adj.) Used to describe the perfect solution or example of something.

Peanut gallery: (n.) Area of the main briefing room, usually very uncomfortable, cramped and towards the rear of the room, where students on the Tornado GR4 OCU sit. cf. Chimp

Peashooter*: (n.) The standard issue pistol for fast jet aircrew. cf. Gats & blats

Peg/nail: (v.) To achieve the required parameters precisely.

Pellets : (n.) Ammunition.

Penguin: (n.) RAF Regiment name for non-aircrew (flaps a lot but never gets airborne)

Percussion adjustment: (stat.) Of engineers: to repeatedly hit something with a series of larger hammers until something works again.

Performing a CSAS bite*: (v.) To move every control surface on the aircraft in rapid succession without and effect on the aircraft flight path. Usually during close formation.

Persona Non Bona: (phr.) Someone who has failed the Harrier OCU

Pete Tong: (n. rhym. slang) Horribly wrong. From it's all gone a bit ~.

Picked from a cast of thousands/one: (phr.) You are about to receive an unpleasant task from me.

Picked up on: (v.) To have an error pointed out to you.

Pickle off: (v.) To eject from the body. May refer to a stool, or a new born baby.

Piece of (old) piss: (n.) Something that is easy. Noddy

Pig's fueled and ready, sir!: (phr.) Shows skepticism that something will actually happen. `I will clean my room` - `Pig's fueled and ready, sir`

Pilot shit: (n.) Indeterminable abilities that allow one to perform basic pilot skills to solve a situation without reference to prior planning or discussion. Eg: Do some ~ to get us out of here. cf. Black art

Pink body: (n.) Phrase used to describe ones corporeal being and its inherent vulnerability.

Pink chit: (n.) A mythical permission slip given to a husband by his wife to allow him to partake in social evening activities without her company.

Pink mist: (pl. n.) The remains of vapourised humans usually describing their state immediately following an attack with some form of anti amour weapon.

PIO: (acron.) Pilot Induced Oscillation, can be physical aircraft oscillation but phrase may also be applied to periods of indecision in a crew environment.

Pipe up: (v.) To speak.

Pissing into wind: (v.) To be attempting to solve a problem with absolutely no success at all. Pushing shit up hill

Pit: (n.) One's bed or bedroom. Scratcher, Chariot

Pitch in: (v.) To assist with a task. Eg: If we all ~ we can get through this.

Pitch/rock up: (v.) To attend or be present for an event or activity.

PK of 1: (adj.) Will inevitably result in death.

Plastic pig: (n.) A harrier aircraft. Wozzle jet, Bona, Flying tea trolley

Play it …: (adj.) The manner in which one will conduct the activity under discussion. Eg. ~ safe, ~ by ear.

Player: (n.) Factor that directly affects the situation. Often used with not a~

Playing the game: (v.) The act of performing a set of activities to please those in charge and allow your progression to the next stage. Jumping through hoops

Plays 2nd fiddle : (v.) To be an unimportant activity compared to the primary task.

Plinking*: (v.) Destroying targets in a designated area by dropping a series of single bombs on each.

Pluck out of one's arse*: (v.) To venture a statement with no logical or factual basis.

Plug : (v.) To airborne refuel via the drogue and basket method. Prod

Plug in: (v.) To activate or engage an aircraft system. Eg: ~ the afterburners.

Plumber: (n.) An armourer.

Plumbs rating : (adj.) The last time a male indulged in sexual intercourse. Eg: What's your ~? 6 weeks!

Podge: (v.) To push a button. Mash

POETS : (acron.) Piss Off Early Tomorrow's Saturday

Pogo: (v.) To switch to a frequency via an intermediate frequency.

Point and shoot*: (v.) To urinate.

Pointy end: (n.) The place where it is perceived that the action is.

Poke off: (v.) To leave a locale. Bang out, Foxtrot oscar, SID … out of here, Make like a, depart the fix, Do one

Polish a turd: (v.) Improving something beyond salvation. Usually utilised in the negative. Eg: You can't ~

PONTI : (acron. n.) Person Of No Tactical Importance. Someone who is not directly engaged in warfare and therefore is generally not overly concerned with the needs of those who are. REMF cf. Blunty

POOMA*: (acron.) Plucked out of my arse (or mid air). Meaning I have just made up the aforementioned data with no reference to fact and therefore it may be incorrect.

Poop off: (v.) To release weapons. Plinking

Poor man's low level: (n.) The act of flying as close above cloud tops as possible.

Pop: (v.) To dispense or select. Eg: ~ the airbrakes, ~ some chaff.

Pop smoke: (v.) To leave immediately and rapidly. Originates from land forces using smoke grenades to distract the enemy. Eg: mate we need to ~ now before we get given a crap job.

Porkpie at a Barmitzvah: (n.) Something that is completely useless or surplus to requirements Tits on a fish, Indicators on a fish

Pot calling kettle: Colour check; over: (phr.) A horrible corruption of an already overused cliché, stylised to sound like a radio transmission

Practice bleed: (v.) To rehearse a pointless activity, simply for the sake of rehearsal. cf. Practice plan

Practice plan: (stat. RT.) Statement repeated three times for comedy effect to highlight that the current plan will not be used in reality due to unforeseen factors. An adapted R.T. statement, from Practice Pan. cf. Practice bleed

Press on: (inst.) Continue. Usually in marginal circumstances. cf. Crack on, pressonitis

Press tits : (v.) To initiate a start up sequence. cf. Kick the tires and light the fires

Press-to-test: (v.) To initiate the early stages of a plan and gauge the reaction of those associated with it. Fly it up the flagpole

Pressonitis: (n.) A fictional disease which causes people to continue with a plan in marginal circumstances or conditions.

Prob 30: (adj.) A meteorological term used to denote a small possibility of something happening.

Prod : (v.) To attempt to airborne refuel via the drogue and basket method. Plug

Program self destruct: (stat.) Statement used to describe a flying program in disarray due to unforeseen circumstances.

Pukka gen: (n.) Definitely correct information. Gen dit

Pull (anything) out of your arse: (v.) 1. To provide the correct answer at the very last moment. 2. To provide incorrect, unsubstantiated information.

Pull it out of the bag: (v.) Achieve success despite unfavourable conditions or circumstances.

Pull the wings off: (v.) To take an aircraft on a sortie that requires frequent amounts of high g to be pulled or to do aerobatics.

Pull up a sand bag: (inst.) Prepare yourself to be bored by my stories. cf. Spinning dits

Punching holes in the sky: (phr.) Flying for the sake of it

Punchy: (v.) To sound like or act in a way that makes others think that you are more than competent even though you are not. Usually involves speaking in unintelligibly small fast bursts of words over the radio and possibly changing the sound of one's voice.

Punk off*: (v.) To release weapons. Pickle off, Plinking, Hoof off

Purcussive engineering: (adv.) The act of trying to make something work by hitting it. Engineering tap

Push it up: (v.) 1. To increase speed. 2. To get hideously drunk

Push shit up hill: (v.) Conduct a very difficult and unpleasant activity which will inevitably be unsuccessful.

Pushing spaghetti up a wild cats arse: (v.) A difficult and pointless task.

Pussy rock*: (adj.) 80s rock music often used in home made flying videos.

Put the coals on: (v.) Select a significantly higher engine power setting.

Put this one to bed: (v.) To bring something to a satisfactory conclusion. cf. Draw a line under

QSY : (v.) To change frequency. Chop (across) to, Bell up

Queen of the skies : () The current aircraft operated by the person uttering the phrase.

queep: (n.) Additional minutiae, of no operational value, added to one's workload purely as a result of a personal preference.

Quick canter/rattle through: (n.) A brief summary of all pertinent information relating to the subject under discussion. Whistle stop tour

RAF (anywhere not an RAF base): (n.) Used to describe a place that does not come under the control of the RAF but has a high concentration of its personnel gather there. Eg: ~nightclub name, ~town name.

RAF Valcatraz: (n.) Alternative name for RAF Valley. The Isle Of Dreams, RAF Holyhead,

Rapido: (Spanish Adv.) Spanish adverb used as substitute for the English word quickly or quick. Eg: We need to do this pretty ~. Snell

Ready to copy: (phr.) Declares an ability to register new information about to be passed. Go ahead, Send

Reattack: (v.) To make another attempt at something.

Reception: (n.) Term used to describe the ops desk in a tannoy, used for comedy effect.

Recycle beer: (v.) To urinate.

Red air : (n.) One's wife or partner. Dragon ops, Long haired air marshall, CinC home command, M.R.S.

Red button stuff: (phr.) The use of live weaponry.

Redders: (adj.) 1. Angry. 2. Tired, often used with the amplifier Harry. Threaders

Reduce the boarding mass: (v.) To defeacate. Increase the gliding range, Dump down to landing weight, A BITE and download cf. Irregular release

Regal Fleigal*: (n.) A royal flight.

Regalfliegel : (n.) The royal flight.

Reinvent the wheel : (v.) To try and find a solution to a problem that has already been solved using a satisfactory method.

REMF : (acron. n.) Rear Echelon Mother Fucker. Someone who is not directly engaged in warfare and therefore is generally not overly concerned with the needs of those who are. PONTI cf. Blunty

Retrograde: (v.) To leave a party or group. Bang out

Rev: (abbr.) 1. A, now obsolete, way of performing a task. 2. A basic form of something, eg. ~ banter. cf. Mandraulically

Reverse seat ride: (v.) The act of sex with the woman on top.

RFI's*: (pl. n. acron.) Requests for information. Questions. Eg: Has anyone got any ~

RHIP*: (acron.) Rank has it's privileges. A term used by someone more senior that you as an excuse for preferential treatment. This does not override the "shotgun" rule.

Rim no damage*: (adj.) An anal inspection.

Ring fenced: (v.) Reserved for a specific purpose, not to be used by others for other purposes.

Rinse out: (v.) To fly too close to something on the ground. Wax, Beat up, Wire cf. Dust off

Rjig/rejigged*: (v.) To rearrange something.

Rocket propelled deck chair: (n.) An ejection seat. Bang seat, Martin Baker option, Yellow and black taxi, Exit via the sunroof

Rocket-propelled deck chair: (n.) Ejection seat. Bang seat, Martin Baker option, Yellow and black taxi, Exit via the sunroof

Rocking horse shit: (n.) Something extremely rare.

ROE : (acron.) The Rules of Engagement, used out of context to describe any rules for any situation.

Roger (Dodge): (stat. R.T.) I have understood your last statement. cf Wilco

Rolex: (n.) A delay that is to be applied to a previously planned time for commencement of an activity.

Roll and pull: (v.) To become seriously ill or die. Arises from the action of rolling an aircraft inverted and pulling back on the stick thus flying the aircraft into the ground.

Roll into: (v.) To continue seamlessly without a break into something else.

Rolled out: (v.) Made available for use. cf. Stand up

Rolling goat: (sim.) A continuing disorganised terrible mess. eg. It's all gone to a ~. Tits up, Clatter of bits, Ball of chalk, Cluster fuck

Ronnie: (adj) An amplifier of Arb. cf. Arb

Round the houses: (prep.) In other forums. Around the bazzars

Rozzers: (n.) The police. Feds

RTFQ*: (acron.) Read the fucking question.

Rumour mill/network: (n.) A fictitious institution that generates believable untruths. Jungle drums

Run with anything: (v.) To be delegated a task cf. Honcho

Running home to old rules: (phr.) Stating incorrect non-current rules about something. Used as an excuse for not knowing the current rules about something as if knowing the old ones somehow makes up for it.

Running on rails : (v.) Having everything under total control.

Saddled up: (v.) To be behind one's opponent during air to air combat and stay there. In (anyone's) shorts

Safety burger : (n.) An item of fast food consumed before entering a heavy drinking session in order to stave off the onset of alcohol induced paralysis .

Same way same day: (adj.) 1. In the same area, travelling in the same direction at the same time. 2. To be flying in very loose formation. Usually used sarcastically.

Sandpit : (n.) A theatre of war with a desert climate.

Satis: (abbr) Satisfactory, eg, completed ~

Sausage side: (adj.) In enemy territory. Bad lands

Say again: (inst.) Please repeat your last sentence. cf. Send, Burst transmission

Scamper through: (adv.) A brief summary of all pertinent information relating to the subject under discussion Whistle stop tour, skating through, quick canter through

Schlep*: (v.) To move somewhere in a casual way.

Schoolboy (error): (n.) You have made a very elementary mistake in my opinion. Basics

Schwack: (onomat.) 1. The sound of a wet fish striking someone in the face. 2. To destroy something.

Science occurs: (v.) Term used by the uneducated to describe the action of anything they do not understand. Wiggly amps, Ones and noughts, Bernouillis, Lift fairies, Sky hooks, White mans magic

Scooby: (Rhym Slang.) A clue.

Scorchio*: (adj.) The weather is pleasant. Blue blue day, Ginners

SCOSHIE: (acron.) Spurious Conditions Outside Safe Helicopter Instrument Environment. Eg: getting a bit ~.

Scraper: (n.) The thin ring that differentiates a Sqn Ldr from a Flt Lt. From the thin ring on a piston used to scrape oil from the cylinder wall

Scratcher: (n.) One's bed or bedroom. Pit, Chariot

Screaming Jesus: (adj.) Very steep or fast and possible unsafe thing. Often used in conjunction with Dive.

Screw the pooch: (v.) To totally and utterly fail to achieve the objective or to die.

Scribbley : (n.) One who's trade is administration. cf. Blunty

Scrubbed : (v.) To be cancelled. Fall off, Canned

Scupper : (v.) To ruin the chances of success. You ~ed yourself there. Kipper

Scuttlebut: (n.) Rumour or unsubstanciated evidence.

Seagul: (adj.) someone who is very reluctant to fly. Comparison with the bird which you have to throw a stone at to make fly.

Seat to stick interface: (n.) Pilot. Stick monkey, Wings, Nose gunner

Secret squirrel : (n.) This information is sensitive but I'm going to tell you anyway. Bead window

Seen/Not Seen: (v.) Said when the object that somebody has referred to has or has not been visually acquired. Tally

Self frag: (v.) To pass wind in an enclosed space that one cannot escape from in the near future.

Self-loading baggage/Cargo: (n.) Anyone on board an aircraft that is not the pilot. Talking ballast, SliCs

Send: (v.) You are to start talking now. Often used to begin telephone conversations. cf. Go ahead

Septic: (n.) One of our American cousins. From ~ tank = Yank. Spam cf. Cloggie, Cheese eating surrender monkey

Serial: (n.) An event. Eg: I have a family ~ later.

SH one T: (n.) Shit. Used to describe being in trouble pronounced verbally as "ess aich wun tee". Eg: I am in the ~ Dwang

Shackle: (v.) Said for comedy effect, when two people meet head on and are unsure of which way to turn to avoid collision.

Shag: (n.) Any junior aircre officer.From acronym of: Student Has A Go.

Shareholders : (n.) A meeting for all members of the squadron to discuss all things pertinent to the running of the squadron, usually held late on a Friday afternoon.

Shed bus*: (n.) The last bus to town after happy hour. Essential bus

Shedded: (adj.) Extremely inebriated. Get a shed on, Build a shed

Shekel: (n.) Unit of local currency. Not to be used in Israel. Blat, Spot, Beer chit/token, Spondoolies cf. Gibloons

Shirley Bassey : (n.) A cup of tea or coffee served black with two lumps of sugar. cf. Julie Andrews, Whoopie Goldberg, Linford Christie, NATO Standard

Shit and corruption: (n.) A cloud of a substance to be avoided if safe aviation is to be continued. Esp. a cloud of debris. Shit and derision, Clag and shit

Shit and derision: (n.) 1. A cloud of a substance to be avoided if safe aviation is to be continued. Esp. a cloud of debris. 2. Bad weather. Shit and corruption, Clag and shit

Shit can : (v.) To cancel something. Eg: My sortie has been ~ed Canned

Shit magnet : (n.) A person who is continuously in trouble.

Shit the bed: (excl.) I am genuinely surprised or shocked. May be used ironically.

Shit tip: (n.) A very untidy place.

Shitload: (adj.) A large quantity. Shedload

Shits & grins/giggles: (adv.) To do something for no particular reason other than it I may be mildly entertaining.

Shitty death : (excl.) Indicates shock at a revelation or situation. Fuck me readers/sideways/backwards

Shneeble: (v.) Process of circumnavigating areas of poor weather or restrictions at Low Level. Nicky nacky noo cf. Dick dance

Shocker: (n.) A horrendous experience. May be referred to as a Jarvis (rhym. slang.). Mare, Barry

Shoeing: (n.) A harsh punishment or reprimand.

Shoot and scoot*: (n.) To fire or detonate munitions and then remove oneself from the area. Eg: The terrorists are employing ~ tactics.

Should have tried harder at school: (phr.) A derogatory insult to anyone who isn't aircrew implying that they are not because of their lack of academic application or because they are stupid.

Show agian: (adv.) A poor performance during a training sortie requiring the trainee to re-fly the sortie.

Show stopper: (n.) A factor that will cause the termination of an activity, should it arise.

Show them the hairy side: (v.) To be openly aggressive towards someone. From "Show them the back of your hand"

SID A55: (phr.) To leave RAF Valley by use of the A55. SID East out of here

SID … out of here: (n.) To depart from the locale. Bang out, Foxtrot oscar, Make Like a, Depart the fix, Poke off, Do one

Sim Sal a bin / Sim sal hadin: (n.) Generic name for someone from the middle east.

Simulated* : (adv.) To sleep on top of one's bed not under the covers usually for a short period of time. cf. Actual, Combat kip

Single target track: (adj.) Used to describe a gentleman who is slightly drunk and is obviously attracted to a lone girl in the vicinity, rather than looking around for others to court. Target fixation

Singleton or pair or …ship: (n.) Describes the number of persons attending an event. Eg: I went as a singleton to the bar.

Singley: (n.) A person who is not married and usually lives in station accommodation.

Sipping the Chablis : (v.) Having everything under total control. Running on rails

Sitch: (n.) The current situation. Eg: what's the ~. Sitrep

Sitrep: (n.) A report about the current situation. Sitch

Six and two threes: (sim.) It makes no difference which you choose because they will both yield the same result. Six of one, Swings and roundabouts, Cummerbunds & waistcoats

Six of one: (sim.) It makes no difference which you choose because the will both yield the same result. Half of the well known phrase in common use: ~ and half a dozen of another. Six and two threes, Swings and roundabouts, Cummerbunds & waistcoats

SJ* : (acron. v.) Fast jet specific acronym for selective jettison used to describe the act of separation or divorce from one's family or wife.

Skating through: (adv.) A brief summary of all pertinent information relating to the subject under discussion Whistle stop tour, scamper through, quick canter through

Skoshie: (adj.) Bad usually ref. weather cf. Nebby

Skulling*: (US. n. synon.) Used by US Air Force in place of the word heading because heading contains the word head, the saying of which is a self imposed social taboo. Eg: Come right on to ~ 360 degrees. Cranium aspect cf. Container, Cranium

Sky hooks: (n.) Term used by the uneducated to describe the origin of lift. Bernouillis, Lift fairies

Slam on anchors: (v.) Slow down rapidly. Idle boards

Slammers*: (pl. n) Advanced Medium Range Anti Air Missiles.

Sleaford tech : (n.) The Royal Air Force College Cranwell

Sledgehammer to crack a nut: (phr.) An over employment of resources in relation to the size of the task

SLiCs : (n.) Self loading cargo Anyone on board an aircraft that is not the pilot. Self loading baggage/cargo, Talking ballast

Slip to the right: (v.) To be delayed cf. Fall off

SLJs*: (acron. Pl n.) Silly little jobs, usually given to a person by someone of a higher rank simply because one is in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Slow time: (adj.) To spend more time dealing with something because there is no pressure to complete it quickly or to do so would be dangerous.

Smartie board: (n.) The MOMIDS colour state map.

Smash it in*: (v.) To perform a rather firmer landing than usual.

smell shocked: (adj.) State of paranoia and psychological stress created from overexposure to anal gases. Chaff, Bagpiping

Smidge: (adj.) A small amount of something. Eg: Turn the air conditioning up a ~. Crack of

Smoke a big fat one: (phr.) Relax and be confident, as you have achieved all that is required of you for the moment.

Smoke and mirrors: (adj.) Term used by the uneducated to describe a process that they do not understand. cf. Wiggly amps, Ones and noughts, Bernouillis, Lift fairies, Sky hooks, White mans magic, Science occurs

Snag : (n.) A problem of any kind. cf. Snaggless, Snag of the Day

Snag of the Day (or Du Jour): (n.) The daily emergency discussed at the morning meteorological briefing. Daily drama

Snagless: (adj.) There are no problems involved with the thing being described. No snags, Dim snaggio

Snail Mail: (n.) Royal Mail

Snap vector to (Something or Somewhere)*: (phr.) To proceed or be directed immediately towards something of importance. Eg: I took a ~ to the bar. cf. VFR Direct

Snell: (German Adv.) German adverb used as substitute for the English word quickly or quick. Eg: We need to do this pretty ~. Rapido

Sniper: (stat.) Said when someone trips or falls over.

Snot locker: (n.) One's nose, especially referring to the location of another aircraft in relation to your own. cf. Beak to beak, 180 by zip

Snottogram: (n.) A letter or email that contains a reprimand.

Snow Drops: (n.) The RAF Police.

Soldiers breakfast: (n.) The act of urination followed by smoking.

Something to hang your hat on: (n.) A figure, point or calculation which, although inaccurate, is acceptably close to the precise solution, and takes less time to produce.

SOP: (abbr.) Standard Operating Procedure; the recognised usual way of doing something.

SOUP*: (acron.) Single Officer Unnecessary Purchase.

Spam: (n.) One of our American cousins. Septic

Spammed (up): (adj.) In possession of all relevant knowledge of a subject. Up to speed

Spangle: (n.) A button or switch that can be illuminated.

Spangly: (adj.) New or advanced technology. Gucci, Swept-up

Sparrows*: (pl. n.) The Royal Air Force Aerobatic Team

Spat out: (v.) To be ejected from the formation.

Speaking chit: (n.) A mythical piece of paper that would afford you the right to speak, particularly in a debrief.

Spears: (pl. n.) Criticisms. Spears on the outside, Any spears for me

Spears on the outside*: (stat. adj.) Statement that there is to be no infighting within the group.

Speed jeans: (n.) The leg-borne parts of an inflating anti-g suit. Turning trousers

Spin out / round: (v.) To reposition oneself in the local vicinity.

Spinning dits: (v.) Telling stories, usually of a humorous nature. cf. Pull up a sandbag

Splash and dash machine: (n.) An Automated Teller Machine.

Splash and dash*: (phr.) To land somewhere and fill up with fuel and then immediately leave.

Split team*: (n.) A term from initial officer training used to describe a small group of people that has separated from the main group. Eg: Lets send a ~ to the next pub to get the beers in.

Spondoolies: (n.) A unit of local currency. Spot, Shekel, Beer token/chit, Blat cf. Gibloons

Spong / spong'ed: (v.) To give or be given a job to do, usually of a tiresome nature. Joe/Joed

Spooled up: (adj.) 1. Ready for something. 2.Have recently been given the appropriate instructions or briefings. Spammed up

Spoon through base height*: (phr.) To blatantly break a rule Graze the base height

Sporty: (adv.) Something that makes the exercise challenging. Eg: ~wind

Spotter : (n.) Someone who knows a lot about a subject that is perceived to be boring by others who do not know as much about it.

Square away : (v.) To adequately organise something. Shit in pile, Shit in a sock, hammer away

Square root of fuck all : (n.) Very little or nothing.

Squared away: (adv.) Something adequately organized. Get shit in a pile, Get shit in a sock, Covered off

Squawk ident: (v.) Make others aware of your location. Normally broadcast over a squadron PA system. Transmit for steer

Squeaky: (adj.) Something that cannot be criticised.

Squeezy trousers: (n.) An anti 'g' suit. Speed jeans

Squinney: (v.) To complain about anything that the speaker thinks is not important justified. Blub, Bleat

Squipper : (n.) A survival equipment fitter.

Squirt: (n.) To illuminate with energy, usually radar or laser.

SSLG: (n. abbr.) Suitable System of Levers & Gears. A term used by the uneducated to describe the action of a mechanical system. Also used by the even less well-educated to describe non-mechanical systems.

Stack: (v.) 1. To depart the place of work. 2. To destroy a vehicle. Eg: ~the aircraft. Cleared off

Staish: (n.) The station commander. Harry

Stand up: (v.) To operate independently for the 1st time.

Standby for broadcast : (stat.) I am about to pass wind. cf. Chaff

Standby to standby : (stat.) Decrease your state of readiness for the moment as there is a delay, but be prepared to revert to a fully alert state when required to do so. cf. Chill herbs, Chill your beans

Starter for ten: (n.) An initial question in a brief.

Stay below radar: (v.) To make oneself inconspicuous to those in authority.

Step : (v.) To commence the walk to the aircraft after the final out brief. Eg: We'll get the latest weather before we ~.

Step over the side: (v.) To eject from an aircraft.

Stepped on: (excl.) Please repeat your last statement, as you were interrupted by someone else talking. Two transmissions at once

Stick : (n.) The weapons employment zone of an aircraft. Eg: He's got a bigger ~ than us.

Stick monkey: (n.) The pilot. IFU 3 cf. Self loading baggage/ballast

Stick ninja : (n.) A very good pilot. cf. Good skills

Stone bonker: (adj.) Something very obvious. Dog's knob/bollocks cf. Nebby

Stoof in : (v.) To crash into the ground, violently. Tent peg

Stop me and buy one: (phr.) You may ask me a question at any time.

Stop stop stop : (order.) A variation on an order given by the range safety officer in an air to ground weapons range requiring all to stop the activity they are currently involved in.

Stuck on transmit : (adj.) Someone who talks constantly and will not listen.

Stude: (n.) A person under instruction. Bloggs

Stupid o'clock: (n.) Extremely early in the morning. O-dark hundred, O-four fuck's sake, Dark o'clock, Early doors

Suck eggs: (v.) To patronise someone by teaching them elementary knowledge.

Suck it and see: (v.) Although the prevailing conditions would seem to preclude the successful prosecution of the act under discussion, we will attempt it nonetheless.

Suck the hind tit: (phr.) 1. Doing something that one is extremely unwilling to do. 2. To have no priority. Deep-throating the cock of death

Suited and booted*: (adj.) Wearing a full compliment of equipment, usually nuclear, biological and chemical.

Supersonic electronic flick knife: (n.) A Tornado F3 aircraft. cf. Norfolk land shark, Contra-rotating death banana, bonar jet, plastic pig.

Surge*: (excl.) Said by total idiots when popping a champagne cork due to the sound being slightly similar to that of a pop surge in a jet aircraft.

Sweat like armourer in a spelling test: (phr.) To sweat profusely. Armourer may be replaced with PTI, winchman, rock ape etc.

Sweet work: (excl.) The task we have been discussing was executed extremely well.

Swept-up: (adj.) New or advanced technology. Gucci, Spangly

Swing-winged Master Race: (n.) Tornado aircrew - From GAF where the best aircrew are selected to fly the Norfolk Land Shark Two winged master race

Swings and roundabouts: (sim.) It makes little difference which option you choose, because all of courses of action are likely to yield the same result. Six of one, Six and two threes, Cummerbunds & waistcoats

Switched on: (adj.) An alert and knowledgeable person.

Switchology: (n.) A fictional educational subject created to express the familiarity with the sequence of switches that need to be made to allow the desired action to occur.

System wibble: (n.) A disruption of the normal service that a system provides due to a technical reason that cannot be explained.

T-Bird: (adj.) A training variant of an aircraft.

Tactical chunder: (n.) Process by which someone can make it appear that they are able to continue to consume vast amounts of alcohol by secretly vomiting away from onlookers.

TAFing: (v.) To forecast the possibility that something may happen; or that someone is thinking about doing something in the near future. Eg: He's in the pub now but he's ~ going to the club. cf. Gusting

Take / Hoist on board: (v.) Make sure that you remember this specific piece of advice.

Take a hit: (v.) Acknowledge failure.

Take on board: (v.) Be receptive to something.

Take one for the team: (v.) To subject oneself to physical or mental anguish so that others do not suffer in the same way.

Take out: (v.) To destroy. Eg: we are going to ~ that factory.

Take ownership: (v.) To accept responsibility for. Carry the can, Hold the hammer cf. Head honcho, Top of the shop

Takeoffs=Landings: (stat.) A statement of fact that the individual being talked about has never had to eject to date.

Talking ballast: (n.) Anyone on board an aircraft that is not the pilot. Self loading baggage/cargo, SLiCs

Tally (-ho): (excl.) I have seen the thing that you have recently pointed out.

Target fixation: (adj) Used to describe a gentleman who is slightly drunk and is obviously attracted to a lone girl in the vicinity, rather than looking around for others to court. Single target track

Tea and medals: (n.) The end of the sortie, when you return, these fictional things await you. From Blackadder goes 4th.

Tea and sticky's: (phr.) A situation where the sortie or mission is complete in all aspects and one is able to relax. Tea and medals

Techcedure: (n.) A technique/procedure for accomplishing a task, usually one's own personal method.

Tee up: (v.) To arrange or schedule an event or activity. Jack up

Tefal head: (adj.) Someone who is extremely clever.

Teflon shoulders: (adj.) Someone who shirks responsibility or never pulls their weight.

Telegraph/Telephone poles: (n.) Missiles of any kind designed to shoot down aircraft.

Tent peg: (v.) To crash an aircraft vertically into the ground. Stoof in

TFD: (acron.) Too Fucking Difficult.

TFR to (Any location): (acron.) To go somewhere directly with out delay. Tornado specific from TFR: Terrain Following Radar. VFR direct

That's what chins are for*: (phr.) Used after one has taken criticism to some how make things seem better. Bear shoulders

The big ignore: (n.) A fictional item given by someone to indicate that the have disregarded some form of communication. Eg: I gave that email ~.

The Big issue (fuck off get a job): (n.) The principle factor effecting the situation.

The biggest alligator: (n.) The most prominent threat.

The boot: (n.) The rear cockpit of a tandem aircraft.

The boy: (n.) The most acclaimed person in a group at a particular moment in time. On fire

The cat : (n.) The nominated person within a group who is responsible for the collection of currency (contributed to equally by all members in the group) with which to buy alcoholic beverages for the group. cf. Kitty, The cat

The cat is dead : (n.) The collection of currency for the purpose of purchasing alcoholic beverages for the group is empty. cf. Kitty, The cat

The fin: (n.) A Tornado GR Aircraft. Norfolk land shark

The frau : (n. ) One's wife or partner. CinC home command, Dragon ops, M.R.S, Red Air, Long haired air marshall

The good book: (n.) The source document for knowledge being imparted. Usually ref the aircrew manual for the specific type of aircraft.

The hiv : (n.) Any illness or ailment.

The office*: (n.) Used by aircrew to refer to their cockpit or area of responsibility on the aircraft. Usually said to civilians when showing them around or showing a photo in a vain attempt to impress.

The OG 1 N: (n.) The sea. Ogsplosh, Ogin

The sketch: (n.) The general overview of the situation or plan.

The somethingest something in NATO: (phr.) Term used to exaggerate the attributes of a person or thing.

The SP : (acron.) The state of play. An update of the status of the current situation.

The speed of heat: (adj.) Very fast indeed. Meningy knots, Warp factor snot, Max(y) chat

There or thereabouts: (phr.) Used to justify not applying any more effort to improve a less than perfect solution. Good enough for government work

Thin out: (v.) To leave somewhere subtly. cf. Stack, SID, Make like a, Depart the fix, Bang out

Thing of beauty*: (n.) Something that the speaker approves of.

Think outside the box: (phr.) To come up with an original idea that is not the obvious solution.

Thinly disguised chop ride (TDCR): (phr.) A sortie that is programmed as Flexible Element hours for remedial training but is believed by trainees to be an excuse to suspend the struggling aircrew member from a training course.

Thinx bubble: (n.) A moment in time during which one is attempting to rationalise a situation which one does not yet understand. cf. Maths in public

This callsign: (n. R.T.) The person speaking.

Threaders: (adj.) 1. Angry. 2. Tired, often used with the amplifier Harry. Redders

Throw a teddy out of the cot: (v.) To become very upset about something.

Thrupney bitting : (v.) Act of flying in a straight line and then turning through less than ninety degrees in one direction and then repeating this so as to fly the shape of a polygon around a fixed centre point. cf. Nicky nacky noo

Tick in the box: (n.) Completion of a small step or qualification in a large chain of events, often seen as routine.

Tick V.G.: (adj.) A particular thing was accomplished particularly well.

Timmy (tristar) : (n.) An RAF Tristar aircraft.

Tin hat*: (n.) A Kevlar helmet.

TISMIT 01: (inane.) Tornado force specific reference to an Elgin curry house called the Quismat.

Tits high : (adj.) A bad situation. Eg: It's gone~. Tits up, Clatter of bits

Tits on a fish: (pl. n.) Something utterly pointless or without use. Indicators on a fish, Porkpie at a Barmitzvah

Tits up: (adj.) In an extremely bad situation. Clatter of bits, tits high

TLA : (acron.) Three Letter Acronym.

TLAR: (acron.) That Looks About Right. Using one's judgement to achieve an aim rather than a specified technique.

To that end: (phr.) In order to achieve the previously mentioned criterion, the following conditions must be met.

To the nth degree: (phr.) Very many iterations of investigations or solutions have been applied to the problem or situation. Eg: we have discussed this ~. Done to death

Toast: (n.) Destroyed or in serious trouble. Eg: You are late for work, you are ~.

Toasters : (n.) Afterburners. Carrots, Cookers, Heaters

Tongue Buffet: (v.) To stutter or mix-up words. Fail to answer in a coherent sentence Akin to Lip Stall.

Top banana : (adj.) Said to show approval of something. Eg: That's ~ Cool and the gang, Cool for cats

Top of the shop: (n.) The most senior person in an organisation. Head honcho

Top tip: (n.) A useful piece of information that will aid you in the activity under discussion.

Toppled gyros: (adv.) 1. To feel ill or nauseous. 2. To be disorientated.

Touch base: (v.) Establish contact with someone for the purpose of discussing something.

Track while scan: (phr.) I am watching the attractive member of the opposite sex we have been discussing, while simultaneously looking for others who are more good-looking, in order to impress you with my skills.

Tracking juice : (n.) A mythical liquid that allows you to keep the sighting reticule on target for a short period of time.

Trail fo ducks: (adj.) A trail of anything.

Train set: (n.) Something someone is in charge of, and may do with as they like.

Transmit for steer: (v.) Make others aware of your location. Normally broadcast over a squadron PA system. Squawk ident

Trap*: (n.) One toilet in a row of toilets with doors. Often numbered. Eg: Someone has destroyed ~ 1 cf. Bite and download, pickle one off, Reduce the boarding mass, Reduce the boarding mass, dump down to landing weight, increase the gliding range, Drop a paveway 6

Trapper : (n.) An external, supposedly independent, assessor of a person or squadron's ability to perform specific tasks.

Trash-hauler: (n.) An aircrew officer who conducts route flying in multi engine aircraft. Truckie

Trip over your dick : (v.) To embarrass oneself usually publicly.

Truckie: (n.) An aircrew officer who conducts route flying in multi engine aircraft. Trash-hauler

Turn Petrol into Noise: (phr.) Commit the act of flying

Turnaround: (v.) To change a baby's nappy.

Turning petrol into light buffet: (phr.) Flying air combat or aerobatics

Turning Petrol into noise: (phr.) The act of flying

Turning petrol into noise complaints: (phr.) Military flying in a pacifist society

Turning trousers: (n.) A pair of anti-g trousers. Speed jeans

Twin sticker: (adj.) A training variant of an aircraft. T-Bird

Two Meter Battle: (adj.) A contract formed between 2 male colleagues who have inadvertently found themselves in a gay bar and are uncomfortable with it. Shackle

Two tacan rule: (n.) The rule states that if there are more than two TACAN navigational aids between you and your partner you may be unfaithful. Detachment rules, What goes on tour stays on tour, Beyond 10 west

Two transmissions at once: (excl.) Please repeat your last statement, as you were interrupted by someone else talking. Stepped on

Two winged master race: (n.) Pilots. Stick monkey, Wings, Nose gunner, Seat to stick interface

U/S : (acron. adj.) Unserviceable. Broken. cf. Snag

UBEV: (stat.) Term meaning Un-briefed evasion: Said for comedy effect, when two people meet head on and are unsure of which way to turn to avoid collision.

UDI: (acron.) Unidentified Drinking Injury. Used to describe an injury obtained whilst drunk but the victim has no memory of receiving the injury.

Ummming and Arrrhhing: (v.) To ponder over something for an unacceptable amount of time without making a decision. cf. Faff

Uninvited ordinance*: (n.) An attack.

Untidy : (adj.) An understated description of a poor performance or bad situation. Eg: I ran off the runway yesterday that was a bit ~.

Up and down like a whore's drawers : (sim.) Continually changing the amplitude of a particular parameter.

Up the chuff: (adj.) Very close to or in one's behind. Saddled up

Up the ying yang: (phr.) A great excess of something. Coming out of our arseholes

Up to speed: (adj.) In possession of all relevant knowledge of a subject. Spammed-up

V : (adv.) Short for very, used by people who don't have enough time to say the whole word. cf. Tick VG

Vale of death : (n.) The Vale of York, on account of the numerous training bases and resulting volume of air traffic

Valley bashing: (v.) To spend the majority of the sortie, flying down valleys. cf. Nicky nacky noo

Variable noise, constant power: (n.) A comedy description of the attributes of a RAF aircraft propulsion system.

VFR Direct*: (phr.) To go immediately to the place being talked about. Eg: Lets go ~ the bar.

Vickky verca/verky: (inane.) Incorrect pronunciation of Vice Versa for comedy effect.

Video nasty: (n.) 1. A portion of gun/HUD camera footage that incriminates the aircrew officer being debriefed. The clip is usually repeated several times for effect. 2. A compilation of video clips of aircraft crashing into smithereens.

Vinegar strokes: (pl. n.) The final and usually the most critically important stages. cf. Finals to

Vne: (acron.) The never exceed velocity of an aircraft. Often applied to other vehicles for comedy effect.

Vote for Joe: (adj.) Questions contained within the test described are of a multiple choice nature.

Voyage of discovery: (adj.) The act of doing something one has never done before and possibly learning something new.

VPSI*: (acron. n.) Voice Programmed Stick Interface. The pilot. Stick monkey, IFU3

Wallapa: (onomat) A verbal simulation of the sound of weapon detonating or of something hiting something else at speed Banag cf. Thunk, Dnnk

Walter: (n.) A collection of currency contributed to equally by all members in the group, held by a single nominated person, with which to buy alcoholic beverages for the group. Kitty, Cat

Wang off: (v.) To drop munitions. Punk off, Hoof off

Wank itself to death : (v.) A process by which a piece of equipment destroys itself by trying to perform more tasks than designed for.

Wank TAMPA/HAMPA: (v.) To unnecessarily refine a plan on the automated mission planning aid. cf. Measure with micrometer hit with an axe

Warm fuzzy (feeling): (n.) To feel reassured that one has prepared for all airborne unseen eventualities.

Warp-factor snot: (adj.) Extremely fast indeed. Meningy knots, Shit off a shiny shovel, At the speed of a thousand gazelles

Wash up: (v.) To conclude summarising the relevant points of a visit, exercise, course or series of events. cf. Bottom line

Waterskiing behind the aircraft: (v.) To have reached the limit of one's mental capacity when airborne. Hanging off the tailplane cf. Maxed out

Wax: (v.) 1. To fly too close to something on the ground.2. Too beat someone in air combat. Eg: I ~ed his ass. Rinse Out, Beat up, Wire cf. Dust off

We're not here to fuck spiders!: (phr.) A way of telling people to hurry up. From New Zealand.

Weak sisters : (pl. n.) Least capable ac in a combined air operation package from a performance point of view, around which most of the sortie planning has to be done. Eg: The egress flow will be the reverse of the Ingress, except for the ~ who will climb to FL 240. Fuel bitches

Wear: (v.) To select an appropriate code on an identification device such as Identification Friend or Foe or an Air to Air TACAN.

Wedge: (n.) Simplest known tool to man with no moving parts

Wedge*: (n.) A suitably impressive amount of money.

Weedysphere: (adj.) The extreme low level environment. Down in the weeds

Weekend Power: (n.) Max Power

Wets: (pl. n.) Liquid refreshments.

What goes on tour, stays on tour: (phr.) A theoretical rule that allows those not in the vicinity of their partner or spouse to cheat on them. Detachment rules, The two tacan rule, beyond 10 west

Wheels is wheels : (stat.) The stated time of departure for the transport has passed and therefore we should depart without delay even if there are still people yet to board. Can be accompanied by an annoying watch tapping gesture.

When push comes to shove: (phr.) After everything else has been taken into consideration this is the most important fact. Usually used to describe at least 5 different facts. At the end of the day, Bottom line

Whistle-stop tour: (n.) A brief summary of all pertinent information relating to the subject under discussion. Quick canter through

White man's magic: (n.) Term used by the uneducated to describe the operation of avionics. Black magic, Ones and noughts/zeros cf. Wiggly amps

White/Green Carder: (n.) The instrument rating that a pilot holds.

Whoopi Goldberg: (n.) A cup of tea or coffee containing no milk or sugar. NATO standard, Julie Andrews, Lindford Christie, Shirley Bassey

Wibble : (stat.) Said when no intelligent answer to a question can be produced.

Wide open: (adj.) Very good weather with no cloud and very good visibility. Gin clear

Wiffadyll: (n.) A non-specific aerobatic manoeuvre. Octaflugeron cf. Nicky nacky noo

Wiggly amps: (pl. n.) Term used by the uneducated to describe the action of electromagnetic waves. cf. Bernouillis, Lift fairies, skyhooks, Ones and noughts/zeros, Science occurs

Wilco: (stat.) I will capitulate with your request

Winchester: (adj.) Run out of an obvious item, eg beer. Bingo

Wind up: (v.) 1. Increase the difficulty of something. 2. Bring something to a conclusion.

Wind your neck in / Select "neck in" and wind: (phr.) Please cease to consider your inputs to this conversation of any significance to me. Back in your box

Wing it: (v.) Rely on one's instinctive knowledge to complete a task. Cuff it, TLAR

Wings : (n.) The pilot of the aircraft. Stick monkey, Wings, Nose gunner, Seat to stick interface

Wipe your minge: (v.) Used to tell someone to stop being a wuss and be more like a man: Eg: "I don't care if Miss Moneypenny dumped you and slept with your brother, ~ Mr Bond." Man Up, Dry your eyes, Grow a spine

Wire: (v.) To perform an extremely low flypast. Wax, Beat up, Rinse out

Wire Straightener: (n.) An RAF Search and Rescue winchman. Dope on a rope

Wishile*: (n.) A missile that has been fired with a very low probability of hitting its target. cf. Telegraph pole

Witch's tit : (n.) A reticule slewing controller in the front cockpit of the Tornado GR4.

WIWOL : (acron.) When I was on lightnings, often used to start a boring story. cf. Pull up a sandbag

Woefully inadequate (lacrunabilis inadiquatum): (adj,) Used to describe the performance of a student on the Harrier Operational Conversion Unit if they have not performed to the standard required

Won't go down and slow down*: (phr.) Seemingly all aircraft type encompassing phrase used by QFI's to chastise descent profile decisions.

Woolly: (adj.) Not exact. So inexact as to be near useless.

Work like a one armed paper hanger : (phr.) To work extremely frantically and hard on something.

Worth fighting for not worth dying for*: (phr.) A phrase indicating that the loss of one's life for this cause is not necessary but it is still a worthy cause.

Wozzle jet: (n.) A harrier aircraft. Plastic pig, Flying tea trolley, Bona

Wristwatch*: (n.) What ever time datum the speaker wishes. Zeberdee, Zulu

Yam: (v.) To drink one's drink very quickly with one swift movement. General Yamsing / Yamamoto

Yarnex: (n.) An extremely long conversation with someone about something. cf. Yawnex

Yawnex: (n.) An activity that is extremely boring. cf. Yarnex

Yellow: (n.) Generic term for larger. cf. Brown

Yellow and black taxi: (n.) Ejection seat. Rocket-propelled deckchair, Bang seat, Martin Baker option, Exit via the sunroof

Yellow Death Banana: (n.) RAF Seaking SAR Helicopter

You have control: (phr.) You are in charge of the situation or vehicle. You have the con

You have the Con : (phr.) You are in charge. You have control

YOYO : (acron.) You're on your own.

Yug: (v.) To apply positive g in an attempt to gain a firing solution in air-to-air gunnery Hoik/hoyk

Zebedee (Wristwatch): (adj.) Greenwich Mean Time

Zebra's arsehole: (n.) A deep meteorological depression resulting in a synoptic chart with concentric closely spaced circular isobars.

Zip in a spine*: (order.) Adopt an emotionless macho attitude and conceal any worries or weaknesses. Man up, Dry your eyes, Get some hair on your arse

ziplip: (Order) Tell someone to shut up

Zoom bag: (n.) Flying suit