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Banned Phrases - C

CAG

(n.) An informal meeting to discuss work related topics.

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Cake and arse party

(n.) An activity in which none of the participants recognise a purpose. Dick dance, Rolling goat cf. Practice bleed

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Canapé*

(n.) Used for comedy effect in place of the word canopy. Eg: I’m ready for the ~ to come down.

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Cannon fodder

(n.) A member of the non commissioned ranks of the RAF regiment or the army. A foot soldier. Grunt

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Cans

(pl. n.) Carriers Bomb Light Stores (CBLSs) Cobblers

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Capacity seat

(n.) The seat in which the instructor sits and can criticise all weaknesses and mistakes because they are not flying the aircraft and being assessed.

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Carbon-based life form

(n.) A dehumanising method of referring to the recipients of weapons effects, used in order to shield the user’s conscience from the unpalatable truth. cf Meat bomb

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Carrots

(pl. n.) Lit afterburners. Cookers, Heaters

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Chaff

(excl.) Warning to others that wind has been passed. Depressurisation

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Chaff-head

(n.) A person whose hair has turned almost entirely grey, and therefore resembles the metal threads deployed to fool radars.

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Chaffe

(n.) Used to describe an activity that is not enjoyed usually because it is seen as irrelevant or too time consuming.Nause, Ball ache

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Change cassette

(v.) Be aware that the discipline into which you are moving requires a different set of skills. Get (something) hat on

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Chank

(n.) An intentionally vague combination of ‘Chill’ and ‘Wank’.

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Chap

(n.) Term of address generally used by individuals unable or unwilling to remember a person’s name. Fella

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Chariot

(n.) One’s bed. From: Wank ~. Pit, Scratcher

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Chateau (station or squadron name)

(phr.) The squirty bottle of alcoholic solvent used to wipe off writing made with permanent marker.

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Chattham House rules

(adj.) Term used to indicate that whatt follows is sensitive information that shouldn’t really be discussed but somehow this phrase unofficially allows the discussion. Bead window

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Check in not dig in

(phr.) Description of aircrew accommodation standard when compared to that of the army. Often used as a response to jealous rage from army personnel.

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Check six

(v.) Look behind you.

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Check the actual*

(v.) A term derived from meteorological terminology used to describe the action of going outside to smoke tobacco products.

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Cheese-eating surrender monkey

(n.) A French person. cf Cloggie, Spam, Septic.

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Chew the fat

(v.) To have an informal conversation.

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Chill herbs

(v.) Decrease one’s state of readiness for the near future. and relax, Hang slack

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Chill your beans

(v.) Decrease one’s state of readiness for the near future. And relax, Hang slack, Chill herbs, cf. Standby to standby

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Chin it off

(v.) Dispense with something, as it is considered to not be sufficiently important. Gaff off, Kiss off

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Chisel

(v.) To influence others who are in a position of relative authority in order to get what one wants. Eg: I managed to ~ my way onto the program.

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Chocolate laser live

(adj.) A medical condition that involves diarrhoea .

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Chocolate teapot/fireguard

(n.) Something totally useless.

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Chop (across) to

(v.) To change frequency. cf. Bell up, Get on the blower to, QSY

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Chop along

(v.) To hurry up.

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Christmas tree

(n.) A central warning panel in an aircraft that has many lit warning cations on it.

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CinC home command

(n.) One’s spouse. Dragon ops, M.R.S, Red Air, Long haired air marshall

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Civvy street*

(n.) Civilian life and rules.

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Clag and shit

(n.) Very bad weather. Shit and corruption, Shit and derision

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Clap hands

(v.) To have an airborne collision. cf. Aluminium death cloud

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Clatter of bits

(n.) A disorganised terrible mess. Eg: Its turned into a ~. Tits up, Ball of chalk, Mare, Rolling goat, Cluster fuck, Bag of bits, Tits high

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Cleared Off

(v.) Authorised to depart the place of work. Stack

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Climb up and level at 2ft 6*

(v.) To go to ones bed.

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Cloggie

(n.) A flying Dutchman (sic). cf Spam, Septic

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Close of play (COP)

(n.) The end of the working day.

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Cluster fuck

(sim.) A disorganised terrible mess. Tits up, Clatter of bits, Ball of chalk, Mare, Rolling goat

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Cobblers

(pl. n.) Carriers Bomb Light Stores (CBLSs). Cans

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Colonel

(blank) The Navy, Army & Airforce Institution(NAAFI), or local on base (SPAR) shop. From ~Gaddafi

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Combat egg*

(n.) The shape described by a surface of constant energy required by an aircraft to remain at a certain level of g force. It is shaped like an egg due to the normal acceleration of the earths gravity which gives an extra 1g in the vertical. God’s G

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Combat kip*

(n.) A short period of sleep taken on an opportunity basis. cf. Simulated

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Combat pyjamas*

(n.) An aircrew flying overall. cf. Combat slipper

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Combat slipper*

(n.) An aircrew boot. cf. Combat pyjamas

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Combat z’s

(n.) A miraculously reviving quick nap.

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Come on to the radar

(v.) To come to the attention of the person speaking, specifically to be of some importance as well. cf. In the frame

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Coming out of our arseholes

(phr.) An excess of something. Up the ying yang

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Commit aviation

(v.) To go flying.

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Container*

(US. n. synon.) Used by US Air Force in place of the word box (the saying of which is a self imposed social taboo).cf. Skulling, Cranium

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Contra rotating death banana

(n.) A Chinook helicopter. cf. Cab, Hydraulic palm tree

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Cookers

(n.) Afterburners. Carrots, Heaters

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Cool and the gang

(stat.) I am pleased with the current situation. Cool for cats, Top banana

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Cool as tits

(phr.) Something that is extremely good. Cool and the gang, Cool for cats, Top Banana

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Cool for cats

(stat.) I am pleased with the current situation. Cool and the gang, Top banana

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Covered off

(adv.) Something adequately organized. Get shit in a pile, Get shit in a sock, Squared away

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Crack of

(adj.) A small amount of something. Eg: ~power. Smidge

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Crack of a sparrow’s (fart)

(phr.) Extremely early in the morning. Dark o’clock, Stupid o’clock, O-dark hundred, O-four fuck’s sake, O-silly hundred, Early doors

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Crack on

(v.) Start or continue a particular activity. Press on

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Crackers

(n.) 1. A 1000lb bomb. 2. Igniters in a jet engine.

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Cranditz

(n.) RAF College Cranwell. Crantanamo Bay

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Cranium aspect*

(US. n. synon.) Used by the US Air Force in place of the word heading because heading contains the word head, the saying of which is a self imposed social taboo. Skulling cf. Cranium, Container

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Cranium*

(US. synon.) Used by US Air Force in place of the word head (the saying of which is a self imposed social taboo). cf. Cranium aspect, Container, Skulling

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Crank it round

(v.) To obtain maximum angular rate of change when turning. Hoik/Hoyk

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Crap out

(v.) To be the loser in a specific situation or end up with the unfavorable option.

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Crash Comic

(n.) A crash investigation report.

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Crash div

(n.) A very ugly member of the opposite sex used as a reserve if one does not manage to successfully win the affection of a better looking one.

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Crinkle

(adj.) Description of someone who has become obviously angry or upset. Usually used to provoke further anger. May be accompanied by annoying hand gesture.

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Crock of hoop/shit*

(adj.) Something that massively displeases the speaker.

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Crump*

(adj.) 1. A sudden spate of unserviceable aircraft. 2. A particularly heavy landing.

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Crunch*

(v.) To perform a calculation.. cf. Maths in public

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Cuff it

(v.) Rely on one’s instinctive knowledge to complete a task. Wing it

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Cummerbunds & waistcoats

(sim.) It makes no difference which you choose because they will both yield the same result. Six of one, Swings and roundabouts, Six and two threes

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Cumulo-granitus

(n.) The ground esp. when obscured by cloud. It has a PK=1

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Cut to the chase

(v.) To stop verbalising, and highlight the facts immediately pertinent to the situation.

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