The 4 Types of User

Who speaks and acts like this?

As the years have gone by I have observed that these phrases are used for 4 main reasons.

1 – The Elitist

Firstly, the language is by people who think they are, and wish to remain elite; that is they want to feel special in the company of lesser mortals (for this is what they think non aircrew are). By speaking in this language that non aircrew do not understand and observing their puzzled looks they boost their misplaced sense of elitism. This type of person is nearly always the type that invents the phrases and definitions in the first place. This is the sort of person who in a pub would say

I’m bingo, who’s got the cat? Mine’s a magners magners

or when asked if they would like a drink would say

no thanks fella, I’m FIN F

2 – Acceptance Cravers

Secondly, the language is use by new aircrew that want to fit in, or do not feel confident enough in their abilities to be able to speak in clear English, lest they be found out to not know what they are talking about. For example, I once heard a 30 min brief for a UK training sortie that contained over 20 of these phrases. The brief itself had no real meaning and it was clear that the briefer had no idea what they were talking about but was trying to hide it. It is usually in this type of case where you find speakers using the phrases in the wrong context or mixing two phrases together without realising that this makes them sound even more ridiculous. This is an exaggeration of what the brief sounded like to give you an idea of how ridiculous it sounded:

Right fella we’ll get airborne out of here, using the heaters to get up to flight level nosebleed. We’ll need to keep it parked in the top left corner to get some meningy knots on as we cross into bad lands. As we are the weak sisters, we won’t turn and burn with the bandits we will run away bravely, cranking it down the hill down to the weedesphere and do a bit of nicky nacky noo to get round the schoshie weather to the target. Without wanting to turn this into an egg sucking exercise, remember to keep your spacing over the target because you don’t want to fly through the shit and corruption, and don’t get target fixated because behind it is a large cumulogranitus for you to tent peg into, keep your little pink body safe. When you hit joker 1 bell up and we’ll head to the range to drop the 3kg terror weapons, try not to hoof them off like a mad woman shitting you just need to ackle it and make it work to get an aircrew A. On the way back the recovery will be busy so just BTAC or we’ll arrive in a clatter of bits. We’ll break in batwing and rot off the HAS site at the same time. I’ll see you in the debrief for tea and medals. Any spears for me?

So you can see that it’s not just the use of these phrases outside of the aircrew environment that is ridiculous!

3 – The Wannabe

The third type of user is that of the aircrew wannabe. The language is used as a form of acceptance by wannabes and can be amusing, sometimes cringing to watch. Because these people rarely have any understanding of the background behind the phrases, they also frequently use the phrases out of context or mix them together.

4 – The Joker

The fourth and final user of the language is from those who use it as a joke. These are short lived users, for they usually find that they slip into full time usage without realising it; thus they become the first type of user.

Finally

Hopefully you are none of these and just enjoy ridiculing these poor souls who have lost their way. I hope you enjoy this dictionary, whatever use you put it to (good or bad). I welcome your additions to the text via the website.

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